Guest Author JASON SWEITZER DVM
Guest Author JASON SWEITZER DVM

My name is Dr. Jason Sweitzer. I’m a veterinarian and I’m addicted to puns. I’ve learned that life is full of serious events, stress, doubt, and uncertainty. However if you look closer, life is full of energy, enthusiasm, love, sarcasm, and humor. I’d like to share some light-hearted fare to look at what puns taught me about life:

Remember to take time everyday to have some pun.

It’s easy when doing dishes and laundry to find the day a wash. Make sure you branch out from raking leaves because soon you’ll have it in the bag. Sometimes we try too hard to adult and forget that children have more fun because they are always kidding.

Learn to laugh at everything.

If you are quiet, serious, and attentive, that is called a meeting and you get paid for it, or a lecture and you earn a degree for it. Everything else is fare game, especially if you drive a taxi. Don’t look at blogs for get rich quick schemes because blog backwards is golb, if you were expecting gold you are at least a little off. If you were planning on planting a bunch of shrubs, brush the thought aside. Painting however, is a stroke of genius.

puns

Everything has more than one meaning.

Like horsing around makes you appreciate how stable your home is. I saw two technicians rolling a joint yesterday, well bandaging the elbow but you get the idea. Anti-vaxxers don’t get the point of vaccines but I think they are worth a shot. When a rude and disruptive person invaded my home, I drug them out. Bacteria bug some people but they are the only culture some people have. Like a tree or a shrub, anything that keeps you from branching out should prompt you to leave. Remember even ordinary things you see everyday, like the moon, can light your path and make waves. If you are writing a note on paper on the run, is it still called stationary?

Don’t take yourself too seriously because then you become taken with yourself.

Learn to laugh at yourself because if you aren’t, someone else is. Those are days that are overcast and you mist an opportunity. You can get a kick out of soccer (football) and get a ball out of playing most sports. If you have trouble playing hockey, stick with it.

Personally I love dairy but I decided to milk this life for all its worth. I hear meat isn’t great for the heart but wouldn’t steak much on it.

I tried some other jobs but they didn’t work out:

  • Making balloons but I had my fill.Dogs Clowning Around
  • Watch making always had me on the clock.
  • Knife sharpening was a daily grind.
  • Freezer repair gave me cold feet.
  • Backpack maker, got sacked.
  • Business furniture maker but I didn’t like all the stool samples.
  • Train designer but I got railroaded.
  • Animal breeder but couldn’t handle the intercourse.
  • Lock maker, couldn’t keep it shut.
  • Glue manufacturer, too attached to my work.
  • Puzzle maker, couldn’t get it together.
  • Blanket maker, got wrapped up in my work.
  • English teacher, wasn’t punctual.
  • Math tutor, didn’t add up.

Like Moses here are some parting words: Seriously, life is here for the laughing.

I’d rather my coworkers and friends groan at my jokes and puns and smile at my arrival than groan at my arrival and smile at my departure. Jokes are the way our body deals with stress and awkwardness. By laughing at ourselves and life we release endorphins and improve our life instead of stressing about. Laugh lines are more attractive than frown lines.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.


Guest Author JASON SWEITZER DVMABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jason Sweitzer, DVM, RVT is an associate veterinarian at Conejo Valley Veterinary Hospital in Thousand Oaks, CA. He does general practice and emergency medicine for small and exotics animals, as well as wildlife, with special interests in behavior medicine, management, and teaching. He balances his life with family, playing field hockey, and voluminous quantities of bad jokes and puns.

Comments

comments