What started as an innocent running of the wiener dogs at the baseball park ended in chaos as one stubby-legged speedster left the track and did zoomies through the infield. Fortunately, because most of the people present are professional athletes and thus able to avoid being trampled, no one was injured. The head of the Wienershnitzel Wiener National Race Committee (WWNRC) has assured us safety measures for both fans and athletes are being investigated to protect everyone during future wiener races. Until changes are made, everyone is advised to be cautious of any rampaging dachshunds they may encounter.