Let’s be honest: Making memories is often a pain in the rear.
It snowed in Greenville last Friday. The vet clinic shut down and the kids were home from school as the flakes began to pile up. I was working through a pile of important projects and had told everyone I would be unavailable until 5pm. This is why I was a bit annoyed when my younger daughter continually stuck her head into my office to mention how excited she was about going sledding.
Truth be told, I was quite comfortable all bundled up and working on my laptop, and it looked really, really cold outside. Also, people in their forties who go sledding are 18 times more likely to be filmed looking foolish or sustaining an embarrassing injury than younger people. (Fine. I made that up. It feels true though.)
Besides, I am a firm believer that nothing is more important when it comes to getting things done than being consistent. There’s enormous power in setting a time to get things done on your calendar and then taking that time block seriously. It’s honestly the only way that I have been able to survive when I work from home.
The decision was obvious. I would tell my daughter to leave me alone until 5pm at which time I would bundle up and stand outside for 20 minutes before it got dark. This is the only responsible choice.
Well, of course that didn’t happen. I have developed a “snow voice” that speaks to me at every winter storm and reminds me of regrets I’ve had in the past. It tells me that the reason we have to buy winter clothes every year is because my kids are growing up fast. It asks me if I actually think my now-13-year-old daughter will ever ask me to sled with her again. It questions whether I will look back on my life and be happier that I finished my projects 2 hours earlier, or that I rode that sled.
Here’s the point I want to make clearly: I really didn’t want to go out there. I was busy and I didn’t want to be cold and in that moment I didn’t want to look foolish. I was not swept up in the joy of the moment. I did not feel my heart full of facebook-quote-inspirational-parent-love. I was honestly annoyed that my teenage daughter kept interrupting me. Also, I don’t think that feeling this way is abnormal or that I was being an awful person. I just didn’t want to do an activity. Isn’t that understandable?
The only reason I went out there was because I have learned that the most important things in life require making choices and a little bit of sucking it up. In my opinion, anyone who acts like they just innately do the things that make life rich is full of it.
It’s normal to want to stay in bed instead of going for a hike. It’s always going to be more convenient to enjoy a weekend at home than to make a visit to our parents’ house just to see them. Snow-based activities with children are NEVER going to happen at seventy degrees fahrenheit (that’s 21°C for you Canadians). It’s normal to feel that doing meaningful activities is a hassle… because it is.
You know where this is going. I went out to sled and it was fantastic. My daughter and I laughed until our bellies hurt, and then we walked over to the neighbors’ house and got their two young kids to come and ride down the big hill with us. Then my wife, and finally even my older daughter, came out to play.
That afternoon will be a highlight of my year when I look back 12 months from now, and it only happened because I recognized that going out there was important and made myself do it. And that’s what I wrote to you to say: When you really don’t feel like doing the thing that will make good memories… do it anyway.
Waiting until we are in the mood to have a rich life is a recipe for regret.
Best wishes,
Andy
About the photo: My dog, Skipper, enjoying his snow day staying toasty warm by the fireplace. He says he has no regrets about his decisions. What a life!
