So, it happened to me again. I’ve been ghosted. If I had a $1 for every time I’ve been ghosted by a man I was personally interested in, I’d be rich. If I had one for every time a candidate ghosted me, I’d be even richer.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the word, the Webster dictionary technically defines ghosting as “the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.” As Stephanie Tanner so eloquently spoke many times on Full House, “How rude!”

What started out as discourteous act in the dating world has transitioned into the professional one and, honestly, my mind is blown. How can one expect to be treated like a professional when they don’t know how to treat others like one?

It’s an ongoing phenomenon that doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. It’s happening in all stages of the hiring process from not responding to a request to interview to not showing up on the first day after accepting an offer. How does someone do that to another human being or better yet, to an entire team that was counting on them after being short staffed?

Pardon my French, but it’s a shitty thing to do no matter the circumstance. I get it. There are more job opportunities for candidates these days than ever before and they get caught up in the euphoria of being wanted. Same goes for dating! Being courted is a great feeling. What’s not a great feeling is when you put the time and effort into someone that has no desire to do the same for you.

There is this really cool way to communicate the decision not to move forward in the process and I hear it’s the next big thing! Has everyone heard of email? It’s the best thing ever! What a great way to communicate without having to do it face to face or over the phone. It’s pretty simple actually. I’d respect you more if you took the time to email me that you’re not interested or took a better offer after accepting mine then leave me in silence wondering what the hell happened.

Having a reputation of ghosting is a character trait that I personally wouldn’t want to be associated with and neither should anyone else. This is a very small world we live in and your reputation IS your resume despite how long you’ve been in the industry or how proficient you are in anesthesia.

Please give potential employers (and dates) the respect they deserve by communicating the truth. I’d enjoy being rich, but not at the cost of being disrespected on a daily basis. No one is perfect, but being a decent human being with basic common courtesy comes pretty close.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the editorial team.

Tosha Zimmerman


Tosha has been a CVT since 2002 working in emergency, internal medicine and neurology. She has a passion for mentoring technicians to create a more positive work environment. When Tosha is not working, you may find her dancing at a country music concert or relaxing at home in her hammock with her cats.