(A note for anyone who wonders why they agree to do things that kind of suck)
It. Is. Hot.
I’m writing to you from my back porch in South Carolina where it’s been hitting 100° F (38° C) almost daily for the last few weeks.
“Why?” you might ask. “Why are you sitting on the porch if it’s miserably hot?”
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m sitting here to make my dog Skipper happy. He loves to lay on the porch in the sun. When we are inside, he stands at the door to the porch and just looks at me. If I let him out and close the door, or go out with him and then come back in, he sits outside and looks at me through the window until I let him back in.
Skip is only happy when we are on the porch, in the heat … together.
As my thighs begin to stick to the deck chair from which I write, I often ask myself why I put up with this discomfort. It’s much nicer in my cool house, and my back would probably feel better if I worked at my desk. But here I am.
The reason I sit out here is because I believe relationships are a core component of a good life, and good relationships require some discomfort. If you want to have connections with others, you must be willing to make sacrifices. You have to talk with them when you’d rather be plugged into your headphones, show up when they need a hand, listen when they need someone to hear them, and – sometimes – be with them where they want to be.
I know it’s silly to be uncomfortable to make my dog happy, but I truly think that if you don’t have someone in your life that you’re willing to be uncomfortable for, you’re missing out on what life is all about. My dog and I have a good thing, and part of the reason why is because I make the things he is excited about happen (even if I’m not particularly thrilled about them).
We live in a world that wants to convince us that comfort and freedom can be had without sacrifice or responsibility, but this just isn’t true. Happiness in our lives (and in our careers) lies on the other side of discomfort. We can’t get something for nothing, and having a friend must mean being a friend.
Today, I encourage you to reflect on the relationships you have and the sacrifices you have been willing to make for their benefit. Being uncomfortable for the sake of someone we care about generally doesn’t mean we are doing something wrong, getting taken advantage of, or making a mistake. Sometimes it simply means we are doing what we need to have the life and relationships we know we want to have.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, there is a squirrel trying to burgle the bird feeder and my friend Skipper and I need to intervene. It’s something he thinks is important, and I try to be a good and supportive friend.
Warmly,
Andy
