I love to eat. It’s probably my favorite thing to do. Deep down, I believe there are few situations that can’t be improved by a snack. Celebrating? Mourning? Nervous? Bored? Let’s get a menu! For me, food is a social and emotional swiss army knife.
Obviously, this has some drawbacks that I have to manage. I’ve learned that I can’t eat mindlessly or even “listen to my body” (because my body is similar to that of a pug’s and believes it could die of starvation at any moment). I have to be intentional about how often I snack.
Not snacking, it turns out, is HARD. Especially during the holidays when there is food everywhere. To make matters worse, I have a food-driven autopilot mode that gets me into trouble.
Have you ever been lost in your thoughts and found yourself standing in front of the open refrigerator? I have. Much more frequently though, I find myself standing in the pantry. I will be talking on the phone and feeling nervous, or looking for my keys and stressing, or watching commercials on TV and battling boredom and then, all of the sudden… I’m standing in the pantry looking at the granola bar shelf.
Our minds are amazing things. They care about us, but they are pretty simple machines. Our brains notice how we are feeling, and respond in simple ways that have previously been positively received. They recognize a stimulus and immediately react in whatever way has brought us relief in the past. For this reason, I imagine my brain regularly saying things like:
- “Oh, you’re bored? You won’t feel bored with ice cream!”
- “Hey buddy, I hate to see you sad. We should have some chocolate.”
- “Congratulations!!! This is a huge accomplishment! TREAT YO SELF!”
And before I know it… I’m standing in the pantry (except for the ice cream).
Recently, it’s come to my attention that the pantry is not the only place that my mind takes me. In fact, my brain keeps a running list of “pantries” that it can walk me into whenever I have an unmet need (or simply find myself unengaged in any way). I bet your brain has a list like this as well.
Think about it. What are the ideas or imaginary scenarios that your brain automatically turns on when it notices you are stressed or bored? Do you find yourself thinking about the nastiest client encounter you ever had, the time you felt betrayed by a friend, or some future scenario that may or may not happen?
If you find yourself unintentionally returning to a stressful or painful idea again and again, your mind is walking you into the pantry. You might imagine your mind saying something like:
- “Oh, are you bored? You won’t be when you think about the medical board complaint that client made against you 6 years ago.”
- “It looks like you’re anxious because you had too much coffee? Let’s imagine the most horrible version of what might happen if the vet clinic where you work decides to be open on Sundays!”
- “Hey, I know you want to spend your time doing whatever is most important. Well, nothing seems to get your attention more than thinking about the kid who might be bullying your child at school.”
My point here is not to tell you that you shouldn’t work through issues or make hard choices. It’s that you and I should recognize when our minds are walking us into the pantry over and over again. We should notice when our brains are “helping us” by triggering thought or behavior patterns that we find interesting (but that are not good for us).
When we catch our mind slipping into these engaging but destructive patterns, we need to recognize that we are in the pantry and get out of there!
About the photo: A recent photo I took of a frigid morning at Bradley Airport in Connecticut. A much better view than the pantry or freezer!