A note for those who are trying to figure out what matters in life
Last year, I was wrong about what matters in life.
Over the last ten years or so, it has become more and more clear to me that success is driven not by the grand gestures that we make, but by the consistent actions we take.
- A great business doesn’t come from an incredible idea. It comes from the consistent work to actually make that idea happen.
- A great marriage doesn’t come from an incredible anniversary celebration. It comes from showing up for your spouse day after day after day.
- Being in great physical shape doesn’t come from running a marathon. It comes from gently and consistently pushing yourself week after week.
And so on.
Anyway, by the end of last year, I was adamant that this was the secret to life. Grand gestures were nice but had very little value. Success in life came from the mundane things we do repeatedly. Full stop.
That perspective broke down in the last week of the year.
I decided that I would end the year by making a bullet point list of the things I wanted to remember about 2024. I would jot down the things that still stuck out in my mind as I flipped the calendar over, and the things I would want to remember when I looked back.
Do you know what made up 90% of my list? Grand gestures.
My 2024 highlights were the parties my friends threw, the trips my family went on, and the birthday dinner my family splurged on. They were not the consistent hard work I put in at my job, the regularity with which I mowed the yard, or the early mornings at the gym.
Don’t get me wrong here. I still believe that consistent effort is what makes us successful. I now also understand that it’s grand gestures that make memories for life.
As with most things, the answer turns out to be in the middle and not at either extreme. The meaning of life isn’t entirely in small consistent work nor is it in exciting one-off experiences. It’s a mixture of the two. It’s a base of steady progress with some splurges that you will remember years later. That’s the key.
And so now, the way I look at my life is a little different. Yes, I want to make sure I’m doing the things day after day that will give me a rich and fulfilling life. I’m also determined to prioritize some splurges that I will remember forever.
So, if you buy into this perspective, I hope you’ll work hard and do the things you need to do to have the life you want… and also book the trip. Make the reservation. Buy the tickets. Give the big gift.
When you construct a rich life, what you do every day will make the difference.
When you reflect on your life in bullet points, it’s the grand gestures that will matter.
