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4 Childhood Lessons To Be Happier

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Many of us can fondly recall times we spent playing as children. What stands out most in those memories? We were… happy! And all too often as adults, that feeling of pure happiness is missing.

What can we learn from these memories? Is there a way to extract some of the juices of childhood happiness and find a way to apply it to our busy and hectic adult lives?

Recapturing My Childhood Glee

I recently looked at an old black and white photograph. It was taken in July, 1965, and my brother Mike and I were in our backyard, stationed outside our army surplus tent. I was 7 and he was 4. We had just completed another amazing adventure. These quests invariably involved some form of  “danger” for Mike and an impressive rescue by me.

During our play we always found ourselves so completely caught up in what we were doing that time seemed to stand still and we were scarcely aware of our surroundings. The contentment that radiated from our faces in that old photo was palpable. How nice would it be to be happy like that a little more often?

[tweetthis]Harness the positive psychology skills that come naturally to kids.[/tweetthis]

Little did Mike and I realize the happiness we experienced was in large part because we were using the positive psychology skills, like having gratitude, that come naturally to most kids. Psychologists have identified many of these skills and proven that they do, indeed, increase happiness and positivity.

Mike and I were eternally gratefully for the ragged old army surplus tent a neighbor had given us as a gift – we knew our parents could not have afforded it. It served as our headquarters and starting point for a great number of those aforementioned adventures.

We also had a cat, Fluffy the Black Jaguar, who figured prominently in most of our adventures. She purred constantly and was dragged around without clawing us — a very special creature indeed. How lucky we were to have her as our pet rather than some of the less-than-friendly felines we have all treated over the years!

Happily, even as adults, we can still increase our happiness by practicing gratitude more regularly. You just need a few tips from the world of psychology on how to develop the skill.

How to Increase Your Gratitude

Jack Russell Terriers Playing Fetch

How can we cultivate more gratitude in our current lives? Psychologists have studied gratitude and learned that it is the most potent and rapid driver of happiness. There are a number of effective strategies to create more gratitude, but these four are the most effective.

  •  The gratitude journal is very powerful. Simply write down three things for which you are thankful each night in a journal on your nightstand for 30 days and see what new goodness might creep into your life. Research shows that doing this will improve your happiness for at least three months. You might, like me, use it for months on end and have it serve not only as a gratitude journal but as a log of good events or activities you have experienced during that day.
  • Even more powerful, a gratitude visit involves writing a 300-word letter of gratitude to someone who is still alive and has had a strong positive influence on you. This may be a teacher, coach, minister, or family member. Make an appointment with them for the purpose of reading this heartfelt letter to them. It’s guaranteed to increase happiness for five months and possibly elicit a few tears of joy.
  • Express gratitude to people. Do it more often than you currently do; do it as often as you can. Say thank you to everybody, looking them in the eye and meaning it. You can say thank you to every clerk, employee, co-worker and person who holds an elevator. The key is to mean it; to be sincere. This can be reinforced with a respectful look in the eye, a nod of the head or maybe even a little smile. You may be astonished at what happens when you actually give meaningful thanks more often.
  • Consider silently expressing thanks for things, like your food, shelter, car, or clothing, and take fewer things for granted. You would be in a tough place without the basics and amenities of life!

Gratitude is a powerful driver of happiness. Try some of these evidence-based gratitude strategies, or create some of your own. Remember this: We are all in this world together and it is a fundamental human desire to be happy. Every effort we make to increase our happiness (or the happiness of others) makes the world a better place, and gratitude strategies are one more way we can do just that.

[tweetthis]Gratitude is a powerful driver of happiness.[/tweetthis]

unnamed-1Dr. Steve Noonan has been a veterinarian for 32 years, a practice owner for 25 years and a human for 57 years. As a management consultant for many years, he has seen that stress is a major contributor to unhappiness in our profession which undermines our ability to deliver veterinary medicine effectively for our patients and clients. A keen student of psychology and mindfulness, and a certified life coach, Dr Noonan is passionate about and has made it his mission to share and teach the evidence–based Science of Happiness to veterinary audiences.

Stress Almost Drove Me Out Of Vet Medicine

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I just read yet another article on Compassion Fatigue passed along by yet another vet who has considered giving up the PROFESSION over job-related stress. While that might sound silly to some people, it’s a very real indicator of how intense stress in our field can be.

I first considered that I might not be cut out for this profession while working my first job. It was a great job, but I’m a perfectionist. On-the-job training isn’t something I felt comfortable with as a doctor. It happens to all of us – you can’t possibly learn everything you need to learn in school. However, the thought of trial by fire with lives at stake started me on the road to chronic GERD and a whole lot of anxiety.

It turns out (SPOILER ALERT) that private practice wasn’t for me. They don’t teach us in school that some veterinarians aren’t cut out for private practice. More importantly, they don’t teach us that it’s COMPLETELY OK to want something different. I felt inadequate. I felt like a failure. I kept at it. Surely, I could get the hang of this!

My second job was more my style. I’m a cat person (professionally speaking). Don’t tell anyone, but I’m a bit afraid of aggressive dogs. Even little ones! I’d rather have a cat screaming and going for my face than a dog staring at me with “that look”. I spent five years in cat practice and even considered buying the practice before I realized I wasn’t at home. I left good friends and struck out for shelter medicine. Again, this was more my style. Politics, however, is NOT my style. I lasted 2.5 years before the Compassion Fatigue monster tried to swallow me up. I should have left after a year but like a true perfectionist, I couldn’t bear the failure.

Opening my own practice was the answer. NOT my own private practice. I’m a relief veterinarian. I travel from practice to practice filling in for other vets. I work in cat practices, shelters and a hospice practice. I love what I do. If I’m not enjoying myself, I change gears. I added public speaking on hospice, euthanasia and compassion fatigue to my resume. I discovered that this was my passion. I’m now on the committee to create the hospice certification program for veterinarians. That would not have been on my list of “what will I be doing in 15 years” at graduation!

So, to all my brothers and sisters in the veterinary field – DO WHAT YOU LIKE. If what you’re doing right now isn’t making your life better, change it. There are endless possibilities for what a veterinarian can do.  Some of those in my graduating class aren’t working as veterinarians. That’s ok. If leaving the field is best for you, then do it. I  just want you to know that it may be that it only FEELS like you don’t belong here because you haven’t found your niche. New grads – it’s gonna feel pretty lousy the first 3-5 years while you find your feet.

You will never achieve perfection. Get that thought out of your head right now. Strive for excellence – do your best where it counts. It’s fine to do just enough to get by on the little things. I know it hurts your little orderly perfect heart to do so, but get over it (says the woman trying desperately to stop putting two spaces after a period after nearly 40 years of double spacing). Make time to have fun. The whole point of going to school for all those years and borrowing ALL THAT MONEY was to enable yourself to live the life you wanted. Are you living that life?

For the most part, I am. I rarely work weekends or past 5 PM. Read that again, please. I RARELY WORK WEEKENDS OR PAST 5 PM. That is how I chose to run my practice. I do not put up with nasty people. If a clinic has staff or clients that I am required to be abused by, I leave. It’s wonderful. There are options out there for you. Be creative. Go to conferences. Talk to people. If something makes you go “oh cool!” – investigate. The life you want is at your fingertips. Stop trying to change everyone and everything around you. Make changes in your behavior to create your desired outcome.

My health problems have improved greatly since I became my own boss. I take every holiday off. I go on vacation when I want (although that is a much more expensive proposition than it used to be – hugs to every boss who provided PTO for me). My inner control freak loves that no one is the boss of me. That may not be the solution for you, but if you look hard enough, you’ll find yours.

Meditate, exercise, take care of yourself. Get enough sleep. If you can’t, nap! Love yourself enough to do right by you, and you’ll be happy and healthy enough to take care of the rest of the world.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.

10 Things Dogs Can Teach Us About Relationships

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I was already married to my wife when I became a veterinarian. We quickly discovered that a career as a vet can put some stress on a marriage. I can’t tell you how many dinners I have missed because a patient needed me, how many social occasions I’ve attended at which I’ve arrived covered in cat hair, or how many times I have lobbied to bring home an animal that “just needs a place to stay for a while.”

However, I also have to say that I think I became a much better husband and partner after becoming a veterinarian. While I’d like to claim that any improvement has come from experience, maturity or wisdom, I think I have to credit the countless individuals I’ve met who have this whole lifelong-love thing down pat. They’re my canine patients, and I try to take pointers from them whenever I can.

Here are 10 lessons dogs have taught me about making marriage-or any kind of committed relationship-work.

1. Forgive mistakes. No matter what we humans do-scoot our dogs from comfortable seats in front of the television or go on walks or jogs without them when the weather is too hot or cold-dogs never hold a grudge. They forgive us our failings and don’t dwell on our wrongs.

Continue reading…

How Veterinary Associates Can Manage Work-Life Balance

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How Veterinary Associates Can Manage Work-Life Balance

Originally Published: DVM Newsmagazine, November 1, 2010

[Author’s Note: I like this article, but was never fond of its title. This was my first venture into the delicate world of writing about involvement in organized veterinary medicine. I think that the title may have turned people off, and I wonder if this piece ever had a chance. If you’re reading this, I hope that you might give it one now. -awr]

 

 

Most veterinarians never get involved in industry groups such as AAHA, AVMA, AAEP and AAFP. Consequently, they never reap the many rewards such involvement can bring. Through these groups, you can find career and business mentorship, develop as a leader, make connections to people who share your interests and goals, and keep informed of career opportunities both in practice and in industry. Organized medicine can be your platform to call attention to a problem and your soapbox to elicit the changes you believe our profession needs. It can be your creative outlet, your source of energy and encouragement in pursuit of your passions, your leverage for creating better educational opportunities and your medium for improving the way we all practice.

However, it’s also important to note that organized medicine can suck up a lot of your time, bog your ambitions down in bureaucracy, put you in an airport every weekend you have off, and generally make you wonder why you ever volunteered to pick up extra work for free. Managing your involvement and participating on your own terms is thus critical to leveraging organized medicine to advance your career and increase your happiness in our profession. I have seen great success stories among associates who took the initiative to seek organizations and positions that most inspired them while largely avoiding these common drawbacks. These veterinarians are currently improving their own careers, reaping the rewards of connecting and surrounding themselves with people who share their interests, enjoying life outside of practice, and actively making veterinary medicine a better place for us all. You can benefit from organized medicine, too, by following these simple guidelines:

Grab the reins yourself

Don’t wait for a position that requires a veterinarian with your exact talents. It’s not likely to fall into your lap. Instead, find a contact who shares your interests and let him or her know you’d like to get involved. Every month, DVM Newsmagazine and http://dvm360.com/present dozens of articles on different initiatives that others in our industry. The people named in these articles are great points of contact. Just Google their names along with the associated organization, and you are well on your way to having their email addresses.

Alternatively, you can often contact an organization, search for specific people to contact or look for volunteer opportunities directly through the organization’s webpage. You can also approach groups at conferences through their convention exhibit hall booths and ask them whom to contact. Finally, don’t ever overlook your own network of friends and connections. If you know someone involved in the organization that interests you, contact that person and ask for direction. Even if your friend doesn’t know the right person, he or she probably knows someone who does.

Get specific about how you can help

Once you have made contact with a person who is working in your area of interest, ask, “Is there a specific project that I can help you with?” This phrase is vital because the answer will provide you with a goal. It also will help prevent frustration on both sides by setting clear expectations about your level of involvement. Getting specific helps you set an end point so you can avoid entering into an endless commitment. That way, you can evaluate both the topic and the organization to see if you have found the right fit before entering into a long-term relationship.

Do not get frustrated if an organization is not currently working on one of your personal passions. Let your contact there know your interests in case the organization pursues them in the future. Additionally, ask if your contact knows of any other organizations that are working on your topic of interest. Then move on to a different group to pursue what most excites you.

Set boundaries to protect life balance

When you reach out, be honest about how much time you are willing and able to commit to an organization. It is better to be honest and set reasonable expectations for your involvement than to over-commit and then quit or produce sub-par results because you simply don’t have the time to do exceptional things. Points you might like to make at the very beginning include:

Travel constraints. If you cannot travel more than once or twice per year, make people aware of that at the beginning. Work-life balance is tough. Associates simply do not have the flexibility in their schedules that practice owners do, and using all your vacation days for organized medicine commitments is not fair to yourself or your family. Offer to telecommute or read minutes from meetings you can’t attend. If the position requires someone who can travel more than you are able, then it’s better for both parties for you to remove yourself from the running for this spot early on.

Schedule constraints.Let people know when you can be regularly available. If your day off is Tuesday and the committee you’re assisting has conference calls on Thursdays, ask if the committee could move it to Tuesday. If not, ask to schedule it early or late in the day, or possibly on the weekends. Maybe the committee could schedule every second or third call on a weekend so that you and other associates can participate. Some people will balk at the idea of having calls on weekends, but if these groups want participation from young veterinarians, then they would be wise to consider it when asked by a willing participant. Don’t expect everyone to leap to your schedule, but don’t be afraid to ask if the group can make some changes.

Standing committees. If you have had positive experiences with a group and are passionate about the topic of a standing committee, then this may be the best position for you. Take it if it fits with your goals, but don’t feel like this is the only way to involve yourself. If it doesn’t fit your goals, don’t be afraid to decline participation on a standing committee. Even if you can’t commit for 2 to 3 years, you can still volunteer to support these committees and help them on an “as needed” basis.

When it comes to organized medicine, you get out what you put in. Don’t miss the many chances to be involved, to be connected to your peers and to learn about an entirely different aspect of our profession.

If you reach out to one group or committee and it isn’t a good fit, then find another one that works better for you. Just be clear about what your interests and passions are and about how you want to be involved. Start slow and ease in until you are doing as much as you want, but not any more. You will be more passionate, creative and productive if you take this approach. Organized medicine can be a wonderful addition to your career, and it will almost certainly be even more rewarding if you approach it on your own terms.

 

Veterinary Associates: Lose the Guilt

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Veterinary Associates: Lose the Guilt

Originally Published: DVM Newsmagazine, September 1, 2010

 

 

Most of us embrace guilt like it’s in the Veterinarian’s Oath. If we didn’t pursue an internship, we feel guilty. If we pursued advanced education that took us away from spouses and children, we feel guilty. We feel guilty if we work part-time, because we’re not developing as quickly as we should. We feel guilty if we work full-time because our kids are “only young once.” We beat ourselves up relentlessly about angry clients, disappointed clients and clients who look pregnant but aren’t (I still feel bad about that one).

The guilt associated with lost patients is difficult to escape, and maybe it’s good in that it drives us to be better doctors. The rest of the “veterinary guilt” is overly abundant, unnecessary and obstructive to our pursuit of happiness. This guilt is an enormous hurdle to appreciating balance in life.

Here are a few strategies to keep in mind to counter veterinary guilt.

Remember your priorities

Priorities are deeply personal, and you are the only one who can fully assess what is important in your own life. Be strong in your convictions and remember what is meaningful to you in both the short and long term. Don’t be afraid to prioritize family, finances, hobbies and health in addition to your career.

Expect conflict

Conflict doesn’t mean you’re getting it wrong. Sometimes the priorities of others — clients, other doctors, staff members or practice owners — will appear to be in direct conflict with your own.

Sure, life balance would be easy if everyone just accepted your priorities as their own, but that’s not realistic. Neither is the idea that you should accept the priorities of others as indisputable commands. Often, the best we can do is to understand others’ priorities so we can establish mutually beneficial solutions. It’s important to be creative and sincere in working with others while we pursue what is most important to ourselves. If we’ve done that, we shouldn’t feel guilty about the paths we choose, even if others disagree with it.

Carpe diem (seriously!)

I know “seize the day” sounds cliché, but it’s the key to escaping guilt. When you see cases at work, engage them with your complete attention. When you go home, be fully at home in body, mind and spirit. I struggle to live this philosophy as much as anyone, but on my best days, when I get it right, I feel neither guilt nor regret.

We must learn to forgive ourselves for following our own priorities. If we want “life balance,” we have to not only make the hard choices but also embrace the experiences we create, guilt-free.

The Veterinarian’s Prayer

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The Veterinarian’s Prayer

Originally Published: DVM NewsMagazine, April 1, 2012

Click here or above to read the complete Veterinarian’s Prayer article.

 

 

The Veterinarian’s Prayer

As the holiday season approaches, let all of us veterinarians bow our heads together to ask for guidance in the coming year.

 

Dear Lord,

Guide Me in Medicine

Please let me find the tiny, dehydrated vein of the ancient kitty when I am asked to perform euthanasia under the emotional eye of her owner. I ask for this first, Lord, because it is my single most common reason for prayer, so let’s start there.

 

Lord, help me be a good doctor. Not even a great doctor like House, MD, but at least a doctor who will not space out and miss the glaringly obvious stuff that every veterinarian should know. Lord, let no other doctor look at one of my medical records, shake her head, and think, “what an idiot.”

 

If I do make a mistake, please let the lesson find its way firmly into my memory and not onto Google reviews or Angie’s List.

 

Grant Me Patience and Understanding

Lord, grant me a future that includes someday not having to work on weekends. And until that day, I beg you for a few Saturday shifts that are not completely insane.

 

When the anal glands express erratically, may their contents find my coat and not my face or hair.

 

It is not lost on me, O Lord, that the truly wonderful pets seem to have a significantly greater chance of getting an incurable illness at a young age. If these pets have memorable names (i.e., Professor Snacks, Captain America, Chipper Donut, Jabba Bear, etc.), live with children, and have delightful owners, their long-term survival rates are even worse. While I do not seek to understand your reasoning for this, and I am grateful for those pets that seem to be too bad to die, I would really appreciate it if more of the great ones could live nice, long lives.

 

Give me self-control

Bestow upon me the strength to eat heartily from the holiday veggie trays that clients send, and to merely sample the brownies. And when my strength fails (as it will), please guide me to be more reasonable in my goals and aim at least not to eat the entire batch before the technicians know the baked goods have arrived.

 

Make Smooth My Dealings with Staff

Lord, make me the kind of vet other people enjoy working with. Please let the technicians and receptionists like me for the right reasons, and if one or two of them decide not to like me, let that be for the right reasons too.

 

Also: Might I request to be scheduled to work when the staff training meetings involve free lunch, and off when they do not? Speaking of schedules, please smite the technician who calls me at home early Saturday morning when it is not really, absolutely, without a doubt, critically necessary. Smite him good.

 

Give Me Wisdom in Handling Clients

I thank you, Lord, for all the wonderful clients you send into my life each day. When it comes to those few who are less wonderful: help me to recognize the cases that I should refer away immediately. In extreme cases, feel free to strike me with an illness so I am not in the building when the true nightmare cases come in.  Lord, if I were able to choose between getting pneumonia or getting sued, I’d take the former.

 

When I call the mean owners to check in on their pets, let my call go to voicemail. Likewise, please do not let the mentally unbalanced breeders find out where I live. I don’t want to have to choose between moving and changing professions.

 

Finally, Lord, give me the wisdom not to ask any pet owner when she is due unless I am absolutely, 100% certain that she is pregnant.

 

Amen.