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Articles, Videos, & Training on Pets & Veterinary Medicine

Andy Roark DVM MS

25 Outrageously Funny Pet Names

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Phoenix Roark2

 

Before my wife and I had children, we got a puppy together. Preparing for the dog was an elaborate process that involved reading everything we could get our hands on, picking just the right bedding and toys, and, of course, choosing a name. We asked friends, made lists, and Googled foreign language baby names to get ideas. The name had to be just right.

 

Ever since that 1st-time pet parent ordeal, I get a special kind of joy from meeting pets that have been wonderfully named. I love pet names that are descriptive, unique, creative, funny and/or fun to say. Recently, I asked my Facebook fans to share names of pets they know that fit this description. Here are my 25 favorite responses.

 

Rambo Casserole (English Bulldog/Boxer mix who has “lots of muscles like Rambo, but is short and wide like a casserole.”)
Pepsi (Owner’s last name was DiCola)
Will Feral (Cat)
Barking Chicken (Rottweiler)
Staphylococcus (Golden retriever owned by a microbiologist)
Dr. Taco (Cat)
Strawberry Shortcake (100lb male American Bulldog)
Alice Pooper (Rabbit)
Cat Benatar (150lb male Mastiff)
Devo (Whippett)
David Hasslehops (Rabbit)
Granny Clampett (16 year old Yorkshire Terrier)
Kevin the Destroyer (Cat)
Rhino (Yorkshire Terrier)
Barbeque (Pot Bellied Pig, owned by a vegetarian)
Lord Frumpy of the Pantaloons (English Bulldog)
Penny Pie Sparklepants (Kitten named by 2 little girls)
Feline Dion
Doogie Schnauzer
EggRoll Freyer (Japanese Chin)
Chicken Thunderbolt
Donatella Versausage (Dachshund)
Spartacus the Warrior (Pomeranian)
Reverend Phatty McBiscuit (Cat)

 

 

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15 Outrageous Pet Owner Requests of Vets

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As the man pulled off his shirt and draped it over his dog, I remember thinking, “I hope my technician comes in right about now. No, wait. I don’t.”

The appointment had been uneventful until I informed the dog’s owner that his dog had a heart murmur. The man replied, “If you think he’s got a heart murmur, listen to this!” and off came his shirt.

muddy golden retriever in the ran

While the request was odd, I have to admit I was intrigued. It turned out the man did indeed have a much more impressive heart murmur than his dog. In fact, he was just a week away from surgery to have the heart defect corrected.

As he retrieved his shirt and his dog, I couldn’t help but notice a look of almost paternal pride on the man’s face. It was as if he was considering his dog’s mild heart abnormality and thinking, “Yep, that’s my boy.”

While I’m glad that I got a chance to bring this little family closer, the incident did cause me to stop and consider some of the more unusual interactions between pet owners and veterinarians.

Above and Beyond

As a profession, veterinary medicine is one in which we are used to going to great lengths to meet the needs of the families we serve. Being asked to make a house call, visit a sick patient outside in the owner’s car or stay past closing time are all quite common in our line of work.

Still, even in this business, while we strive to make pets and their people as happy as possible, there are some requests that strike us as a bit much. On my Facebook page, I asked veterinary professionals to tell me some of the most bizarre requests they’ve gotten from pet owners. Here’s what they reported.

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Cancer: Now What?

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In July of last year, a young couple brought their two Greyhounds to see me at the clinic. Joel, the 11-year old dog, had begun coughing over the last few days. (Toast, Joel’s faithful companion, came along for moral support.)

The couple and I talked about how the dogs were doing, and possible causes for this mild but persistent cough. As I examined Joel, our conversation drifted to work, married life and local restaurants. The room was full of smiles and laughter. Then I put my stethoscope on Joel’s chest.

His lungs sounded terrible. I immediately feared severe lung disease.

To avoid alarming Joel’s owners, I simply said, “I don’t like the way Joel’s lungs sound. Let’s take some X-rays to make sure everything’s OK.” They agreed, and I led Joel from the room as Toast looked on warily.

When his x-rays appeared on my computer screen, my heart sank. Joel’s lungs were full of soft-tissue nodules. He had metastatic cancer.

What followed was a painful and emotional conversation that I have had far too many times. I began by displaying the x-rays so I could explain my findings to Joel’s unsuspecting owners. The first thing I said was, “I’m afraid I have some bad news to share.”

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A Prayer for Dog Owners: A Devotional for Those Who Love Canines

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For me, medicine has always had a deeply spiritual component. I often say little prayers for my patients and their owners, and it is for this reason that I started to think about what I would pray for if I were a mere pet owner, and not a veterinarian asking for medical miracles. Here’s what I, as a dog lover, would say:

Cute Dog Looking Up

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the gift of canine companionship. Let me always strive to be the person my dog thinks I am, even if that level of awesomeness is completely unattainable.

Please remind me of the innocence of dogs and of my responsibilities to those I take into my home. Forgive me if I get frustrated with my dog, feed him the occasional table scrap or make him wear a holiday costume for a few quick photos. I promise I will try my hardest to always be a good owner, friend and family member.

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10 Things Dogs Can Teach Us About Relationships

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I was already married to my wife when I became a veterinarian. We quickly discovered that a career as a vet can put some stress on a marriage. I can’t tell you how many dinners I have missed because a patient needed me, how many social occasions I’ve attended at which I’ve arrived covered in cat hair, or how many times I have lobbied to bring home an animal that “just needs a place to stay for a while.”

However, I also have to say that I think I became a much better husband and partner after becoming a veterinarian. While I’d like to claim that any improvement has come from experience, maturity or wisdom, I think I have to credit the countless individuals I’ve met who have this whole lifelong-love thing down pat. They’re my canine patients, and I try to take pointers from them whenever I can.

Here are 10 lessons dogs have taught me about making marriage-or any kind of committed relationship-work.

1. Forgive mistakes. No matter what we humans do-scoot our dogs from comfortable seats in front of the television or go on walks or jogs without them when the weather is too hot or cold-dogs never hold a grudge. They forgive us our failings and don’t dwell on our wrongs.

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