Listen, your veterinarian really really wants to talk to you about something. This seems like a good time to show you what it is.
[tweetthis]What Your Vet Really Wants To Tell You[/tweetthis]
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Progressive Veterinary Clinic Commercial [Parody]
If you work in veterinary medicine, some of this may ring a bell. I hope it’s a faint bell, and that you’re loving the progress we’re making in how we take care of pets.
[tweetthis]The best veterinary clinic commercial ever:[/tweetthis]
Why We Fail Pets When We Judge Pet Owners
Years ago, I worked for a small animal clinic in Fleming Island, Florida. The area was becoming more developed, but there was still a lot of rural area around, with a majority of old country folks living there. Our clinic saw mostly dogs and cats, with birds and exotics making up the balance.
One day, an older lady showed up without an appointment. To all appearances, this lady didn’t have two pennies to rub together. Mrs. Strange was thin, with much-worn clothes and the sallow complexion of a lifelong smoker. The dog with her wasn’t much better off. The older black pit bull, Coal, was emaciated but with a swollen, pendulous belly and a wicked cough. It was clear, however, that she loved this dog with all her heart.
Coal was Mrs. Strange’s companion and protector while her husband drove a long-haul tractor trailer for days or even weeks at a time. The dog had even kept Mr. Strange from entering his own home one late night when he returned home from a run a few days early. Not until he reassured the dog, ‘Coal, it’s Daddy,” was the gentleman of the house allowed in.
Coal was somewhere around ten years old, and had never been on heartworm preventative. As a matter of fact, he hadn’t been seen by a vet since he was a puppy.
Certain that most of the diagnostics I offered would be refused, I was mildly surprised when Mrs. Strange agreed to blood work and a heartworm test. Unfortunately, we didn’t get as far as the ELISA test; a direct smear revealed more microfilaria (heartworm larvae) than red blood cells. And, just in case there was any doubt, Coal coughed up an adult heartworm onto the exam room floor. Clearly, the prognosis was bad.
Dr. Mike Ricker explained everything to Mrs. Strange and she opted to take him home and think about what to do. In as poor a condition as this dog was, treatment might even prove fatal. We offered to refer them to the University for a modified treatment that might be less stressful thinking anything we could do to help this poor, sick dog should be discussed.
Mrs. Strange’s husband was due home; She wanted him to be a part of the decision. We sent her home with medication to make Coal more comfortable, and she paid her bill in full with cash. We honestly didn’t expect to hear from them again, except perhaps to be told that Coal had died on his own.
The next day they called and scheduled euthanasia. Mrs. Strange and her husband came at midday with Coal. Mr Strange looked much like one would expect a long-haul trucker to look; long grey hair, ball cap, worn and faded jeans and a t-shirt advertising a far-away truck stop. We spent a surprising lunch hour laughing and crying along with them while they said goodbye to their Coal. Once again, they paid their bill in cash and took Coal to bury him at the only home he’d known.
Once more, we never expected to see them again.
In areas with rural residents who are used to doing for themselves, it’s not uncommon to have pets brought in at death’s door. The owners often hope we can work some kind of miracle to snatch their pet from the brink. They feed their dogs table scraps and Old Roy, get their vaccines from the feed store, and do their doctoring at home. Only when something is beyond their abilities do they seek help. Educating these people out of their self-sufficient mindset seems practically impossible.
Two days after Coal’s passing, Mr. and Mrs. Strange called to make an appointment for a new puppy. They came that very afternoon with the most beautiful red-nosed pit bull puppy I’d ever seen. Her name was Ruby and we all fell in love with her. No one was more smitten than her proud new parents.
We were told they wanted to do everything right by this dog. Ruby wanted for nothing; she was fully vaccinated and promptly started on heartworm preventative. Ruby’s owners followed our instructions to the letter, always grateful and appreciative of our help.
Over the next year, they presented us with two more red-nosed additions to their family. Both of them were accorded the same complete and loving care as Ruby. Mr. and Mrs. Strange became some of our favorite clients, and I looked forward to their visits.
Most of all, these people taught me a valuable lesson. Appearances are deceiving, sometimes in a good way. If we had all assumed that they were (and treated them like) uncaring pet caretakers because of their first dog’s condition, I’m willing to bet they never would have come back.
Never assume you know someone’s story just because of how they look or act. Coal may have been a medical nightmare, but he was loved. The feelings his owners had for him ensured his successors were the most pampered, healthiest and happiest dogs I’ve ever known. I was, and still am, grateful for the lesson.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.
Debi Matlack is that rarest of creatures, a native-born Floridian. She still lives there with her husband, another Native Floridian, and four cats. She hopes that someday her writing might prove popular enough to support her in the manner to which she would like to become accustomed, probably becoming a crazy cat lady (but a well-financed one).
You can find Debi’s recent novel Old Dogs for sale here.
The Word We’re Afraid to Say
It starts when we are children. We’re not allowed to say “No.” We must hug our Aunt, eat our food, brush our teeth, and go to bed . Yes, children need to obey, but are we pushing things too far? Do we really want to raise our children to become adults who can’t say “No”?
As vet students, we say “Yes” to EVERYTHING. The more cases we take, the more grunt work we complete, the more nights we stay up without sleep, the more we “succeed.” Don’t complain. Be a team player.
As baby vets, we want to impress our bosses, colleagues and clients. We work through lunch, stay late and generally bend over backward to please everybody. We’re so happy to go from student loans to a paycheck that we’re willing to take on more than we should.
Once we gain some experience and confidence, we lose that enthusiasm. Suddenly saying “No” when you have been the go-to person for “Yes” feels to everyone else like you are changing the rules mid-game. Attempts to create boundaries are interpreted as having a bad attitude or being lazy. At this point, many of us change jobs or start our own practice.
For me, the fear is that if I say “No”, someone will get their feelings hurt, be angry or just think I’m less than awesome. What I have to remember is that people say “No” to me ALL THE TIME. Think about it: phone calls, emails and texts are not returned, company policy dictates I can’t have what I want, and my doctor’s office doesn’t have appointments available on my day off.
If you are saying “Yes” all the time, you are actually saying “No” to yourself. I discovered quickly that saying “Yes” made you the person everyone asked for a favor. After all, why go through asking someone who will whine and complain when you can pile more work on the person who makes it easy?
When I lecture on Compassion Fatigue, I ask the audience to say it with me: “No!”. Say it again: “No!”. This was the hardest lesson for me to learn. Harder still is saying it without explanation or apology. The word “No” is the most powerful weapon in your self-care arsenal.
Here are some things that can help you set boundaries and say “No”.
1. Give options: Present the person asking with three options. Make sure all three are acceptable to you. If Mrs. Smith wants an appointment in the triple-booked 2:00 slot, offer her a drop off, 4:00 today or 2:00 tomorrow.
2. Problem solving: Please stop letting people dump problems on your desk for you to solve. The best rule you can have in a staff meeting: No problem can be presented without at least two potential solutions. Unless a problem is an emergency, don’t jump to solve it. Often people will magically discover their own solution if you don’t immediately fix their issue for them.
3. Let people be angry: This one drives me crazy. I am often silently angry with people. However, if someone is angry with me, I’m desperate to apologize and restore peace. Resist that impulse unless you know you’ve really wronged someone. If they are mad at you because you set a boundary, it’s better than the alternative of being mad at them while they walk all over you.
4. Be honest: If you are in the weeds, say so. Ask for help. Practice this phrase, “I’d be happy to if you wouldn’t mind _______”. Let’s say your child asks you to fix their toy. “I’d be happy to if you wouldn’t mind putting those towels away for me”. Offering options and trades is a great way to put the ball in someone else’s court. That way THEY are turning YOU down rather than the opposite. It’s just another way to make “No” a little easier.
5. Start small: “No, I’m not in the mood for Italian food tonight”, “No, I’m not interested in that movie”, “No, I’d rather stay home and cook tonight” (If I say that last one, check me for a fever). If a text isn’t important, make yourself wait an hour to return it.
6. Turn off the phone: Even if you just turn it off for 5 minutes, you’ll be empowered and break a few of the iron bands fastening you to technology. Use that five minutes of silence to breathe deeply.
7. Tighten your circle: Make time for people and activities that bring you joy. Avoid or eliminate those people and activities that cause you stress. This isn’t 100% achievable, but you can reduce your exposure to negativity easily. Unfriend, unfollow or hide social media contacts. Refuse to allow complaint-fests in your staff meetings. Don’t return calls to people who are just out to suck the life out of you.
8. Treat yourself: When I have a day off, I usually schedule myself to tie up loose ends, do chores and then quilt. I rarely get to the quilting part, so I’ve recently started allotting myself 3 hours in the morning to quilt before doing everything else. I typically manage to get more done because I’m happy and relaxed.
9. Listen to your body. You have two options: rest when your body says it’s necessary, or rest because you’re sick. Pushing through the pain or the illness gets you nowhere. You’ll pay for it one way or the other!
10. Stop letting others decide for you: If someone asks you where you want to eat, tell them. If you are seeing so many patients in a day that you can’t practice good medicine, stop and reevaluate. If you have an employee in your office whose behavior determines whether everyone has a great or horrible day – fire them. If your boss is that person, find a new job.
When you say “No”, pat yourself on the back for showing some self-respect. If you cave and say “Yes”, give yourself a break. If you find someone keeps asking you favors and then doesn’t help you out in a bind, say “No” to save yourself some resentment. Like anything else, it takes practice. Once you become friendly with my favorite two-letter word, your life will never be the same…….in a good way!
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.
Best Pregnancy Time Lapse Ever!
This may be the best time lapse video of a family getting ready for a new (human) baby ever. Dunder and Munster may only have special appearance credits, but they steal the show.
[tweetthis]Best Pregnancy Time Lapse Ever (Dogs Steal The Show)[/tweetthis]
How to Know If You’ve Got the Wrong Job
When was the last time you thought about how wonderful it is to be exhausted? I don’t mean “tired.” I mean mentally, physically, and emotionally wiped out.
Last week was hectic at the animal hospital. There were patients streaming in all day, everyday. I saw puppies, kittens, disease, and (unfortunately) death. There was joy, laughter, sorrow, and tears. Every evening, my children met me at the door and saw how tired I was. They also saw how fulfilled.
I think many of us wonder if we are truly passionate about our work. We like to tell ourselves this is the case. We choose to think we are good at our job and we love it, but we all secretly question ourselves. “Do I really love what I do, or am I just telling myself that?”
[tweetthis]Do I really love what I do, or am I just telling myself that?[/tweetthis]
For me, the answer comes in exhaustion. If you want to know if you’re passionate about what you do (regardless of what that is), think about how you feel when you’re spent. No matter how much you love something, you can get tired of it. Your mental capacity can be expended, and your emotions worn threadbare. Being exhausted doesn’t mean that you don’t love something. However, if you’re exhausted without being proud of the work that got you that way, that’s a problem.
It’s not fun to chew your fingernails and wonder if you have made good decisions. It’s not fun to hold the hand of a crying person who has suffered a loss. It’s not fun to explain yourself again and again and again and again, but when we step back at the end of the day, it should be fulfilling.
That, to me, is the single best test to determine if someone is passionate about a pursuit. Are they satisfied when they are exhausted, or disappointed? Do they bounce back the next day ready to go at it again, or dread the day?
If you find fulfillment at the end of hard days, I think you’re on the right track to living your passion. If you don’t, then you have an opportunity.
Related: Stress Almost Drove Me Out Of Vet Medicine
Those who arrive at exhaustion without fulfillment (and realize it) are in a position of immense power. If this is you, you can either change what you do in a day, or how you feel about it. The choice is yours, you have all the control, and you have so much to gain.
The next time you’re exhausted, embrace the opportunity. Take a moment to decide how you feel about the work that got you there, and react accordingly. We should all have the blessing of fulfillment.
[tweetthis]How to Know If You’ve Got the Wrong Job[/tweetthis]
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.