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Veterinary Associates: Lose the Guilt

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Veterinary Associates: Lose the Guilt

Originally Published: DVM Newsmagazine, September 1, 2010

 

 

Most of us embrace guilt like it’s in the Veterinarian’s Oath. If we didn’t pursue an internship, we feel guilty. If we pursued advanced education that took us away from spouses and children, we feel guilty. We feel guilty if we work part-time, because we’re not developing as quickly as we should. We feel guilty if we work full-time because our kids are “only young once.” We beat ourselves up relentlessly about angry clients, disappointed clients and clients who look pregnant but aren’t (I still feel bad about that one).

The guilt associated with lost patients is difficult to escape, and maybe it’s good in that it drives us to be better doctors. The rest of the “veterinary guilt” is overly abundant, unnecessary and obstructive to our pursuit of happiness. This guilt is an enormous hurdle to appreciating balance in life.

Here are a few strategies to keep in mind to counter veterinary guilt.

Remember your priorities

Priorities are deeply personal, and you are the only one who can fully assess what is important in your own life. Be strong in your convictions and remember what is meaningful to you in both the short and long term. Don’t be afraid to prioritize family, finances, hobbies and health in addition to your career.

Expect conflict

Conflict doesn’t mean you’re getting it wrong. Sometimes the priorities of others — clients, other doctors, staff members or practice owners — will appear to be in direct conflict with your own.

Sure, life balance would be easy if everyone just accepted your priorities as their own, but that’s not realistic. Neither is the idea that you should accept the priorities of others as indisputable commands. Often, the best we can do is to understand others’ priorities so we can establish mutually beneficial solutions. It’s important to be creative and sincere in working with others while we pursue what is most important to ourselves. If we’ve done that, we shouldn’t feel guilty about the paths we choose, even if others disagree with it.

Carpe diem (seriously!)

I know “seize the day” sounds cliché, but it’s the key to escaping guilt. When you see cases at work, engage them with your complete attention. When you go home, be fully at home in body, mind and spirit. I struggle to live this philosophy as much as anyone, but on my best days, when I get it right, I feel neither guilt nor regret.

We must learn to forgive ourselves for following our own priorities. If we want “life balance,” we have to not only make the hard choices but also embrace the experiences we create, guilt-free.

The Veterinarian’s Prayer

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The Veterinarian’s Prayer

Originally Published: DVM NewsMagazine, April 1, 2012

Click here or above to read the complete Veterinarian’s Prayer article.

 

 

The Veterinarian’s Prayer

As the holiday season approaches, let all of us veterinarians bow our heads together to ask for guidance in the coming year.

 

Dear Lord,

Guide Me in Medicine

Please let me find the tiny, dehydrated vein of the ancient kitty when I am asked to perform euthanasia under the emotional eye of her owner. I ask for this first, Lord, because it is my single most common reason for prayer, so let’s start there.

 

Lord, help me be a good doctor. Not even a great doctor like House, MD, but at least a doctor who will not space out and miss the glaringly obvious stuff that every veterinarian should know. Lord, let no other doctor look at one of my medical records, shake her head, and think, “what an idiot.”

 

If I do make a mistake, please let the lesson find its way firmly into my memory and not onto Google reviews or Angie’s List.

 

Grant Me Patience and Understanding

Lord, grant me a future that includes someday not having to work on weekends. And until that day, I beg you for a few Saturday shifts that are not completely insane.

 

When the anal glands express erratically, may their contents find my coat and not my face or hair.

 

It is not lost on me, O Lord, that the truly wonderful pets seem to have a significantly greater chance of getting an incurable illness at a young age. If these pets have memorable names (i.e., Professor Snacks, Captain America, Chipper Donut, Jabba Bear, etc.), live with children, and have delightful owners, their long-term survival rates are even worse. While I do not seek to understand your reasoning for this, and I am grateful for those pets that seem to be too bad to die, I would really appreciate it if more of the great ones could live nice, long lives.

 

Give me self-control

Bestow upon me the strength to eat heartily from the holiday veggie trays that clients send, and to merely sample the brownies. And when my strength fails (as it will), please guide me to be more reasonable in my goals and aim at least not to eat the entire batch before the technicians know the baked goods have arrived.

 

Make Smooth My Dealings with Staff

Lord, make me the kind of vet other people enjoy working with. Please let the technicians and receptionists like me for the right reasons, and if one or two of them decide not to like me, let that be for the right reasons too.

 

Also: Might I request to be scheduled to work when the staff training meetings involve free lunch, and off when they do not? Speaking of schedules, please smite the technician who calls me at home early Saturday morning when it is not really, absolutely, without a doubt, critically necessary. Smite him good.

 

Give Me Wisdom in Handling Clients

I thank you, Lord, for all the wonderful clients you send into my life each day. When it comes to those few who are less wonderful: help me to recognize the cases that I should refer away immediately. In extreme cases, feel free to strike me with an illness so I am not in the building when the true nightmare cases come in.  Lord, if I were able to choose between getting pneumonia or getting sued, I’d take the former.

 

When I call the mean owners to check in on their pets, let my call go to voicemail. Likewise, please do not let the mentally unbalanced breeders find out where I live. I don’t want to have to choose between moving and changing professions.

 

Finally, Lord, give me the wisdom not to ask any pet owner when she is due unless I am absolutely, 100% certain that she is pregnant.

 

Amen.

 

 

 

5 Tips for New Year’s Resolutions That Work

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5 Tips for New Year’s Resolutions That Work

Originally Published: DVM NewsMagazine, January 1, 2012

 

Anyone who goes to the gym regularly has seen the power of the average New Year’s resolution. Starting Jan. 1, the number of people using the equipment triples and the number of people posing in front of the mirrors quintuples. Suddenly, the American indolent are determined to become American Gladiators. But by the first week of March, the treadmills are still once again. Thus is the power of most resolutions. They drive large numbers to commit, flail wildly in their chosen areas of interest, then slink away in disgrace as their resolve fades before the winter does. Sound familiar?

As veterinarians, technicians, practice managers and receptionists, we are not a population of slackers. If anything, we’re known for going above and beyond, often giving more of ourselves to others than we have time for. If our resolutions aren’t taking hold, it’s not due to laziness. It’s probably because we’re so busy doing the hard work of, well, work, that it’s going to take more than a set of vague resolutions to break through the demands of everyday practice and help us forge new habits.

Let’s not let our good intentions slip away this year. Here, I’ve taken five common goals and turned them into resolutions that are less likely to be abandoned and more likely to bring you real success. Happy New Year!

1 Resolution: I will improve my ultrasound skills.

Better resolution: I will take a two-day ultrasound course this year and begin regularly charging clients for diagnostics I do using the machine.

Lesson: Don’t fall into the trap of setting lowball goals. That first resolution might as well read, “I will embrace my ability to use the ultrasound to consistently find the bladder. I will learn to take and print pictures of bladders and then discuss bladder health at length with clients.” Goals like this are similar to skiing exclusively on the kiddie slopes. Sure, you won’t fall down, but you also won’t get any better. Get specific. Set goals that push you to grow and give you a distinct sense of accomplishment when complete.

2 Resolution: I will get more clients.

Better resolution: I will contact every middle school, Boy Scout and Girl Scout troop and church in town to ask if I can visit and talk about pet health. I will also put one of the technicians in a giant dog costume beside the road every Saturday until they rebel.

Lesson: Remember to include the “how” when setting a lofty goal like “get more clients.” Otherwise, you’re destined to expend a lot of unfocused energy.

3 Resolution: I will do a better job talking to clients about dental health.

Better resolution: I will give out at least 10 client handouts on dental health per week, and keep track of how many I have given. I will also increase the number of dental cleanings I do per month by 10 percent.

Lesson: As the old saying goes, “If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.” The same is true for resolutions. If a resolution is a good one, it should come with metrics that let you quantify your progress at any given moment and assess exactly where you are in relation to the resolution. Setting a measurable goal can also demystify the goal itself—it may not seem so lofty and unattainable when boiled down to a simple number of steps.

4 Resolution: I will spend more time talking to the technicians about medical issues of their choice.

Better resolution: I will e-mail the practice manager, the head technician, and the practice owner today to tell them that I plan to spend 30 minutes per week talking to the technicians about medical issues of their choice.

Lesson: Resolutions you keep to yourself are easier to abandon. A friend of mine took pictures of herself in a bathing suit and posted them on Facebook the day that she started the P90X workout routine. I remember seeing them and thinking, “Wow, she’s serious about this.” I expect that once she posted those photos, she was going to go the full 90 days or die trying. Sure enough, 90 days later she posted new photos, and she looked amazing. That’s the power of public commitment.

5 Resolution: I will shadow local veterinary specialists to improve my skills.

Better resolution: To improve my skills, I will shadow a local veterinary specialist before Feb. 15, a second one before May 1, a third one before Sept. 1, and a fourth one before the end of 2012.

Lesson: I have been telling my wife that I will clean my side of the bedroom since we got married in 2003. And I will … eventually. Deadlines—even if they’re self imposed—force action and keep us on track. Put them on your calendar.

Finally, write down your list of resolutions and post them somewhere visible. (Do you know what resolutions are if they’re not written down? Daydreams.) Celebrate your goals and look forward to achieving them incrementally each week and month. If looking at your list leaves you feeling overwhelmed or defeated on Day one, consider trimming to a set of goals you can make happen. I find five resolutions to be very manageable. Your five may be different from my five. You may have four or six. The point is, if you’ve made resolutions that are specific, attainable, measurable, and to which you can be held accountable, you’ll be well on your way as soon as you post that list.

This is your opportunity to make 2012 your best year ever. Good luck!