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There I Said It

There, I Said It: Not My Circus and Not My Fleas

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I want to dedicate this to all my fellow associate veterinarians, veterinary technicians, and vet assistants… basically anyone who doesn’t own or run the clinic.  You’ve got a difficult and challenging, yet rewarding job.  Don’t worry, the managers and owners have their own sets of challenges and tasks to take care of because they have a lot of responsibility.  But your job has its limits and it very likely isn’t your show to run.

Now this may sound awkward, but yes, it’s not your circus. This may bring a flood of conflicting emotions, or maybe it won’t.  Many of us in the veterinary field are those type “A” personalities.  We want to take charge, make change, do things for the greater good.  Yet, for a large number of us, this may not seem possible and it can get very frustrating.  This may bring on a whole new level of stress or displeasure in your job.  You may choose to quit, let your job performance suffer, or lash out at co-workers.  This was me….and I hated my job but also the stress I had let creep into my life.  It’s difficult but – stop.

Some of those things you might think are so important or other facets of running the clinic you might think are crucial or the most important things in your day aren’t.  Face it; some things just aren’t yours to deal with and that’s okay.  If you keep jumping in to take charge, it’s an excess burden on yourself but you’re also usually picking up the slack for somebody else.  People need to be accountable for their own responsibilities.  This doesn’t mean that you can’t help but instead of taking charge, ask what you can do to help.  Let someone else take the lead.

Remember, above all other things, you have one job to focus on…the welfare and care of animal patients and their families.  You may be asked to help out or work on projects that will ultimately help the clinic reach that goal but that means that you should not focus your energy on seeking those things out especially if the animals aren’t all taken care of first.  Trust me, running around like a bull in a china shop with ideas is not the way to get things done.  It might feel good to vent all those ideas, concerns, or problems, but chances are less than 25% of it will actually lead to the change you want to see.

You may be in a unique position.  Chances are you may have experience at another veterinary clinic and have some valid ideas.  Ask yourself though, what your reason for getting involved is or what will it do to you in terms of your time and energy?  Take that moment to step back, think, and maybe don’t spearhead the project.  There’s a time and a place to share and try to implement some positive changes so that everyone can benefit. Remember, “not your circus, not your fleas.”

There I Said It

The views and opinions featured on There, I Said It are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.

There, I Said It: I Feel Like I Have to Keep Secrets

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I know a thing or two about stigma. I have a secret.  Make that two.  Some people know part of this, some of them know both parts, most don’t know either.  I no longer know how to rank which secret is darker, especially in the intolerant climate of social media today.

About a year ago I had bariatric surgery.  I had reached the point where I had to make more drastic changes in my life and I had to admit I couldn’t do it on my own.

The sleeve gastrectomy was the path I choose after countless diets, countless failed attempts, years of therapy, and not being able to bear the weight of me any longer.  Why didn’t I try harder, have I tried this diet or that diet, have I tried loving me, have I tried going to the gym?

I’ve heard all the questions and I can feel the weight of judgement settle on me, nearly as heavy as the other me I have lost.  That’s the first secret I’m letting you in on.

I got sucked in the other day to post on the Veterinary Nursing Initiative.  Alright, that’s not true, I got sucked into the comments.  I sat up that night thinking about the parallels between the comments section on this post on that feed and the comment section on any post about bariatric surgery.

Some people were positive, some people were negative, some people were angry, some people were scared, some were belligerent, some were accusational, some clearly had their own agenda, and some were curious.

Here’s the thing, here’s my other secret: I am an alternate route credentialed veterinary technician.  I did not graduate from a two year, or a four year program.  I was on the job trained, I took a completely legal, state board approved alternate route program, passed my test with high marks, paid my licensing fees, and became credentialed.

I contribute actively to the veterinary community and have kept my license active through extensive (far more than required) continuing education.

There are people in those comments, who like those in the bariatric comments, believe I don’t deserve to be where I am.  That some how my journey is invalidated because of the route I took to get here.  They believe I am a fraud.

Veterinary team members are known for their nearly boundless compassion for patients.  If only this translated to compassion for co-workers and community members.

The pervasive negativity in the conversations surrounding any trending topic in veterinary medicine is isolating.  It contributes to the mental health crisis our community faces.  While I don’t need to share my path with anyone, the commentary I read on social media makes it far less likely that I will expose myself to the imposter accusations. This means my support network has shrunk significantly.

The isolation puts me at higher risk for depression and anxiety and my shrinking support network increases my risk of getting help when I need it, which, because of the isolation, I will.  The stigma surrounding my needing help will also dissuade me from reaching out.

After all, I’m aware of how the community views me and I know that I will need to make myself even more vulnerable in order to ask for help.

The veterinary community has a long way to go to be a safe space for someone who is ready to admit they need help.  Will you take that first step with me?  I know, that first step is scary, but here are four things you need to know about mental health, stigma, and the veterinary community.

If you hold onto this, it’ll help you maintain the balance as you take those steps.

1.  Needing help isn’t criminal.

2.  There will always be supporters and saboteurs.  Be the supporter.

3.  There isn’t just one path.

4.  You can be anything. Be kind.

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The views and opinions featured on There, I Said It are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.

There, I Said It: I Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom

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I saw a PostSecret recently.  It was a postcard of the Stanford campus and said, “Stanford. I am ashamed to admit to my friends that even though I go to one of the top universities in the country, all I want to do is be a stay-at-home mom.”

I may not have attended one of the top universities in the country, but I was accepted into one of the most rigorous professions. I worked hard to be admitted to veterinary school. I studied and trained through blood, sweat, and tears to become a veterinarian.  I also struggled through blood, sweat, and tears to become a mother, and the day I gave birth and held my child as a mother I hold in infinitely higher regard than the day I walked across the stage and held my diploma as a veterinarian.

While I whole-heartedly intended on practicing for a good many years, when I had a child, all that changed.

I define myself as a veterinarian and a mother, and while there are many who succeed at combining the two, the demands of each in my case have fought a battle of time and love.  On the one hand, I want my child to see me working, having a career.  I do not want to lose the knowledge and skills I worked so hard to gain.  But on the other hand, I want to be there for my child, to be present, to be a teacher and a mother.  In the end, mother > veterinarian, for now.

My child is only going to be young for a short time.  Maybe when my child starts school, I will be able to make amends with my veterinarian-self and reconcile mother and veterinarian to go back to work.  In the meantime, I am privileged and oh-so-fortunate to be able to be a stay-at-home mom.  While I was ashamed to say it before, I will proudly say it now, “I love being a stay-at-home mom.”

I hope the Stanford student can work through her shame as I have done (although some shame will always linger in the background when seeing old classmates, friends, colleagues), and realize that being a stay-at-home mom is a worthy endeavor to be proud of.

The views and opinions featured on There, I Said It are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.

There, I Said It: Cats Aren’t Low Maintenance Pets

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For decades, cats have been considered low-maintenance pets. You would put food in a bowl and your cat lounged around your house, getting steadily fatter, until eventually it passed away. You could just let it outside for a while, if you needed to. Cats were easy – easier than dogs, for sure. Cats required little from pet owners and from veterinarians.

This mentality still persists among a large segment of the population, and it needs to change. If I hear one more person say, “it’s just a cat”, or “she’s sure needing a lot for a cat”, I may scream – or get my cat to claw some eyes out. The truth is, cats don’t bring in as much money for vet clinics as dogs do. Less than 50% of all owned cats will visit the vet each year. People are reluctant to spend as much money on their cats as they are on their dogs, and their expectations are far lower for what a cat will require. Did you know that cats should be on heartworm and flea preventive too? That you can – and should – learn to trim their nails, instead of getting annoyed when they scratch you? That cats deserve annual veterinary exams, since they age much faster than humans, and appropriate vaccination even if they live indoors?
Face it, world – the days of treating your cat as though they require nothing but food are over. You don’t have to walk your cat, but you do need to clean their litter box daily to keep it a pleasant, odor-free bathroom spot. You don’t need to play fetch with them, but you DO need to play with them – be it with a laser pointer, squeaky toy, catnip, or other way of providing a stimulating environment. You do need to provide a balanced, healthy diet for them – defy the common myth that cats just “get fat” as they age. Don’t just fill a bowl with food and leave them alone for days at a time – cats crave affection, touch, and attention as much as dogs, and they’ll wonder where you’ve gone and when you’ll get back.
When your cat is acting strange, don’t call them an “a**hole cat” or dismiss it with “cats are weird” or another platitude. Instead of being upset that your cat only eats food from the center of her bowl, research whisker fatigue and understand why it may be uncomfortable for her to eat from a bowl vs a plate. If your cat stops jumping or playing, using their litter box, or eating – take them to a veterinarian. Run tests. Spend money. Learn how to give them medication, and work proactively with your vet if it’s difficult. There’s been great advances in cat medication, from flavored liquids, to obscuring bad tastes with sweet ones, to transdermal formulations that can simply be rubbed into the ear.
Cats are no longer being treated as small dogs in veterinary medicine, and they deserve their owners to step up just as much. If your cat is stressed, figure out why and learn how you can make their environment more comfortable for them. Cats are so sensitive that even rearranging furniture can send them into a tailspin. Afford them the same amount of time, attention – and, yes, money – as you would a new puppy. Cats can even be trained – everything from sitting and shaking, to the ‘place’ command, to where is an appropriate place to scratch – if you have the patience and good rewards. Research why your cat reacts the way that they do, and why they have the needs that they have, instead of accepting half-truths, myths, and the pervasive stereotype that cats are just jerks. Your vet team is a great resource for fact-based cat knowledge.
The days of a cat being “just a cat” are ending, and it’s time to once and for all show that mentality the door. Don’t bring a cat into your home and expect it to be a ‘low-maintenance’ animal that will never be inconvenient, sick, or needy. Don’t bring a cat into your home if you’re not up to the challenge of giving these amazing animals a fulfilling, comfortable, healthy, and rewarding life.

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The views and opinions featured on There, I Said It are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.

10 Things You Should Know About Suicide

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We skirt the cage this tiger circles in. We’ve been taught over decades to walk carefully around this topic and its people like they are in the middle of a mandala and the path is eggshells. I remember being told if we talked about it, then people would do it.  We’d best just keep quiet.

It triggered me even then.  If someone is asking you to keep a secret and it’s not about something fun, something is wrong. Alarm bells should be going off.  Why don’t you want to talk about this?  What makes you so uncomfortable?  I suspect that it’s not having all the answers.  I suspect it’s being afraid of saying the wrong things.  I suspect it’s feeling responsible.  I suspect it’s helplessness and a lack of understanding.  I remember thinking, “Why don’t they want to talk about me?”

What can you do?

You can educate yourself about suicide, about symptoms and signs.  You can have open, non-judgmental conversations with your colleagues and your co-workers about suicide.  You can speak up against the pervasive suicide shaming and misinformation in our culture.

There are plenty of myths that are still pervasive in culture in general about suicide and suicidality.  Let’s debunk them here, not for the first time, and not for the last, but as a solid reminder:

Myth: People who try to kill themselves are mentally ill.

Fact: Mental health, well-being, and balance are topics that are just now being brought to the forefront of conversations about suicide in the veterinary profession. While mental illness may predispose an individual to suicidal thoughts, many suicidal individuals are not struggling with mental illness. They may instead be suffering from extreme distress and emotional pain, which are not necessarily signs of mental illness. The stigma surrounding mental health crisis, suicidality, and depression prevents these individuals from speaking out as openly as we need them to and they need to get help.

Myth: People who talk about suicide don’t do it.

Fact: Most everyone who attempts suicide has given verbal clues.  No matter how casually offhand comments are made, they should be taken seriously.

Myth: If a person has made a plan to kill themselves, nothing is going to stop them.

Fact: Suicide isn’t about dying.  It’s about stopping pain. The impulse to end it all, however overpowering, does not last forever.

Myth: Talking about suicide may give someone the idea.

Fact: You don’t give a suicidal person ideas by talking about suicide. Removing the stigma surrounding the subject of suicide and discussing it openly is one of the most helpful things you can do.

Here are a few things I’d like you to know about suicide:

  1. We work in your clinics.  We are your top performers.  We work in industry. We are world-renowned speakers.  You don’t just act shocked when we take our lives, you are shocked because you didn’t notice.
  2. We have gotten help and yes if we were prescribed medication we are probably taking it. This issue isn’t about getting into counseling or getting onto the right drug regimen.  Those things help, but it’s deeper.  Studies of suicide victims have shown that more than half had sought medical help in the six months prior to their deaths.
  3. Suicide isn’t selfish, but it also isn’t about you.
  4. Suicide isn’t cowardly either. It’s literally a choice someone made and it’s not your place to judge.
  5. Committing to suicide is not a brief process, it takes time, thought, research, and a great deal of soul searching. Suicide is for so many people the choice they are making to escape unbearable pain.
  6. There are warning signs. If you see us exhibiting these behaviors, reach out.  Please let us know that you are concerned about us and why.  Ask how you can help.
  7. Don’t know what to say, that’s okay. Dial the crisis line number and sit next to them while they talk.
  8. Don’t minimize how this feels for us. It’s totally okay to say, “I don’t have any idea what you’re going through” or to ask, “how does this feel” and “what does tomorrow look like?” But telling us “we have so much to live for” isn’t the right tact.
  9. We aren’t contagious. When one of us speaks up, it is a bright light in a dark place and it allows for others to speak up. While we’ve made tremendous roads regarding mental health in veterinary medicine, it’s time that the stigma surrounding suicide fall aside.
  10. Suicidality doesn’t have to define who we are and it absolutely does not have to define who we were.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – Suicide prevention telephone hotline funded by the U.S. government. Provides free, 24-hour assistance. 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Crisis Text Hotline – Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the USA, anytime, about any type of crisis.

The views and opinions featured on There, I Said It are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.

There, I Said It: Don’t Just Complain, Do Something

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It’s tempting after a long week, or even on a Monday to huddle around leftover cake in the break room like it’s a life raft, or the bar a block away to talk about how it would be different if you were running things.

I’m going to be honest, not all of your ideas are crap.  Some of them have great potential, but pouring them out to your coworkers over drinks and rants that are borderline rage aren’t going to get you very far.   The veterinary world is really small, the rumors will travel, and you’ll end up with a reputation you didn’t anticipate and won’t serve your goals.

Here’s an idea to do instead: Get involved.  It’s easy, anyone can do it. Check in with your local technician or veterinary associations; they are always looking for people to man booths at job fairs and conferences.  Get to know people.  Moderate at your favorite CE conferences.  Offer to moderate for tracks that interest you.  Bonus, you usually get more than just awesome CE out of moderating: there are usually gifts, moderator meals, and discounted registration.  It’s a tremendous networking opportunity.

Don’t know who to talk to first?  Talk to your local reps who come in to the clinic.  They are your number one fan.  To start off with, most of them were you. Most industry reps came out of practice at one point and they have a tremendous amount of insight to offer.  Find the information booth at the next conference you’re at and ask the how you can help this year or next.

It’s tempting to rant around that stale leftover cake about how technicians don’t have enough respect and how a client asked you what you did today, but the burden of that isn’t on NAVTA.  It’s not on your state organization.  That burden is on you.  It’s on you to educate your clients, to educate your colleagues, and be to involved at every level.

Volunteer at local schools and grab some of that enthusiasm and let it carry your cause.  Speak up and be present.  The vocal minority has a voice, but the voice that brings action with it will always have a better shot at swaying the votes.

Your perspective is unique.  You got into this field along your own path and with your own story.  The path you’ve taken isn’t the same as mine and I’m grateful for that.  You’ve got much experience to teach me. Maybe you had a lot more dentistry training than I did, or that magic moment where you get perfect radiographs. The 15 years of experience I had in emergency and critical care reflects getting those IV catheters in crashing patients every time.

We make a tremendous team when we share our resource and we pool our knowledge. What if we did that? What if we networked and shared our resources instead of hoarding them?  What if you chose to be a mentor, and shared knowledge and resources with someone who would benefit from them?  What if you were the catalyst to the next stage in their career?

Someone is waiting on you to make the move because they believe in you.  They believe you are braver than you think you are. No matter your cause, get out there, be kind, and make a difference.

The views and opinions featured on There, I Said It are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.