Wellness

In the ups and downs of life, we have good years and bad years. Some years are like a dream you never want to leave, filed away in the wistful memory banks as “The Amazing Summer of 2011” or whatnot, and others are particularly nightmarish beast-years you want to set on fire and never mention again. I had one of those this year.

As veterinarians, I think we’re often extra susceptible to those sorts of years from hell since we take on such enormous professional burdens. 2010, for example, was my last terrible year, and it involved a deceased patient, lawyers, a loathsome TV reporter, and the demise of my sanity. By the end of the year, I was past burned out and more of a charred, hollow husk of ash incapable of walking into a clinic without hyperventilating. But I learned a lot from the experience, and I wanted to end this crappy year by sharing some of those lessons with you:

• It’s OK to take a breather.

When you reach that tipping point, continuing to push yourself can be disastrous for your emotional and physical health. If you need to take a break, do it, whether that means a short vacation or a leave of absence from the profession. Will your boss judge you? Who cares! It is never too late to come back down the road. People do it all the time.

• Sometimes you have to set out with no plan.

We’re Type A, I know it. Quitting a bad job or taking a breather after a traumatic divorce or whatever the situation is, sometimes you are going to be in a place where you are looking ahead without being entirely sure what’s there. Something is there, and that’s all that really matters for now. Better to move forward into the unknown than remain in despair, because hope is really what defines us as humans, right? Never lose hope.

I wanted to end this crappy year by sharing some of these lessons with you.

• Be open to things you weren’t expecting.

After surviving the Year From Hell, I diagnosed my labrador with osteosarcoma and I started the new year by euthanizing her. Not much of an improvement, no, but the colleague who came by to help asked if I wanted to work with her part-time, and that is how I ended up doing home hospice and euthanasia. It’s amazing work. I thought I understood everything about death after a decade or so in the field, but OH, I was so, so wrong.

• Have faith that surviving this is going to make you stronger.

Because guess what? After surviving one terrible year you’re probably going to have another. Welcome to being human. But what they say about what doesn’t kill you is entirely true, and I can verify that after experiencing 2015.

Life got much better in the intervening years after 2010. I realized no one pilloried me for saying “I don’t enjoy working in a clinic anymore”, I got to write a book, I went on some World Vets trips, I decided to embrace the whole self-care thing and became a spinning nut. I picked the kids up from school every day. Everything was beautiful. And then- 2015 came lumbering in.

One day I was happily decorating the house for Easter dinner with the kids, relishing the happiness that comes from being surrounded by family who loves you, and the next day my Dad texted me that my mother had a brain tumor. It really was that fast. The next two months were a blur.

She wanted to forego treatment. I fought for her to be allowed to leave the radiologist behind and go straight to hospice, using lessons I learned from my veterinary work to argue with the doctors.

She wanted to live her last days at my home, with the kids around her. I swallowed my fear and brought her in, not knowing what they would be seeing.

I took another break from work, because she needed me. And I needed to be there. There was nothing more important than being present.

I continued to go to the gym, because I understood by that point that taking care of yourself is the only way to fully be there for those who need you.

My mom died this year, and I’ve never been so sad and lost as I am now. But the garbage that I survived in 2010 was so important for setting the stage and giving me the tools I needed to make it through this year, and I’m grateful for it.

• Trust in those who want to help.

I know I’m not living some unique People Story of the Week – in fact, I know of four close friends who lost a parent this year alone.

So if you had a miserable hell year, I hear you, friend. Join me over here at the bonfire and let’s light this garbage up and never speak of it again. We got this one. May our 2016 be filled with better things.

One of the glorious truths is that if you allow it, those around you will build you back up.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.

I just returned from a speaking engagement in Indiana where I educated young veterinarians about self-care. We talked about compassion fatigue, euthanasia, assertiveness and stress relief techniques. I flew home at night.  Because of weather delays, I didn’t see my bed until 1:30 am. This is past my bedtime.

I had the sense to take today “off” – meaning that I’m working from home, haven’t taken a shower and feel like I’m recovering from the flu. My body aches from dragging suitcases and falling asleep in an airplane seat. My entire digestive tract has declared mutiny and is demanding only healthy food for a little while. My phone keeps reminding me to “right self-care piece for Andy Roark”. I really hate that Siri can’t spell.

Considering what I’ve put my body through in the last 24 hours, I’m wondering if I should be writing or lecturing on self-care.  I know better than to do most of the things I’ve done in the last day. However, part of the self-care strategy is to avoid aiming for perfection. Mission accomplished.

Part of the self-care strategy is to avoid aiming for perfection. Mission accomplished.

I’ve written articles on self-care before. I’ve talked about saying “NO” and stress in the profession. I teach classes on setting boundaries. Before you can set boundaries, though, you have to figure out what they are! You have limits to what you can take without going all banshee on everyone. Like toxic doses of drugs, you should avoid stepping up TO that limit.  Give it a wide berth. Ask yourself the following questions.  I’m giving you some of my answers so you can see what I mean.

1 – What do I eat that makes me feel good?  For me, that’s protein, veggies, fruits, nuts and salad.

2 – What do I eat that makes me feel bad? The usual suspects: sugar, caffeine, greasy foods, spicy foods, red sauces, alcohol. Any combination of these is deadly. Did I eat pizza before my flight yesterday? You bet I did! It’s part of the reason my stomach felt uneasy on the plane. Is quatro formaggio pizza with bacon heavenly? Unfortunately, YES! This happened to be a bad decision, but I knew better than to drink alcohol or load up on sweets, so I was uncomfortable rather than miserable.

3 – What are my stress triggers at home? Not enough sleep, the dog having accidents in the house, coming up with something not boring to cook, watching the news, politics, obnoxious loud music, negative discussions on social media.

4 – What are my stress triggers at work? Mean people, demanding people, overbooked appointments, emergencies that should have come in before today, feeling overwhelmed with too many tasks

5 – What relaxes me? Quilting, reading a good book, meditation, harp or other quiet music, yoga, a glass of wine (tricky because this is also a trigger), clean sheets on the bed, being cold and covered in blankets, playing online (with the exception of negative discussions on social media).

6 – What do I wish I did more of? Spending time with my family, spending non-vet time with my pets, canoeing, taking cycling trips, napping, quilting, working on my aquarium, writing, being outside doing nothing

7 – What do I wish I did less of? Checking email and social media, grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, worrying

8 – What people are the most positive influence in my life? Since the thought of trying to list
everyone without leaving someone out is giving me anxiety, I’ll just tell you this: These can be people you know or people you contact indirectly. Find ways to spend more time with these people. Whether it’s reading an author with a positive message or talking to a friend who is always there for you, make time to connect with those souls who are good for yours.

9 – What people are the most negative influence in my life? I’m pleading the fifth here as well.  Find ways to reduce your contact with these people. Sometimes just hiding a really negative person on social media makes your day better. Let them go to voicemail when they call. Be busy when they want to heap negativity on you.

10 – What do I want? Make a list of your dreams and goals. Pin it up somewhere and review it regularly to make sure everything you do is aiming you in their direction.  Don’t be afraid to change them as your life changes. Every time you move in the right direction, pat yourself on the back (you know, a treat for doing well, positive reinforcement?).

I know myself better than anyone. I’m the only person I’ve lived with for 40 years in a row. The more I know my reactions to my environment and other people, the more chance I have of directing my life positively. Seeing on paper what you love and hate and comparing that to what you are exposing yourself to in life is a revelation. Make room in your life for the things and people you enjoy. Hang a “no vacancy” sign for the rest. Know yourself well enough to know when you need to slow down, ask for help or unplug. Don’t wait for others to offer to give you a break – that so rarely happens in today’s self-centered world. Here in the U.S. we are guaranteed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Not happiness, the PURSUIT of happiness. Make sure your choices reflect that pursuit and you’ll be moving in the right direction.

The more I know my reactions to my environment the more chance I have of directing life positively.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.

Where did the year go? I need three more Augusts (minus the sweltering heat here in Florida) to catch up! The holidays are always stressful, even for those of us who love them. We have a tendency to do everything possible to make the holidays harder than they have to be. Here are a few tips to surviving all the cheer and chaos.

1 – Postpone – Leading up to the holiday, figure out what must be done and what may be put off until later.  Do the windows really need to be cleaned before everyone arrives for dinner? Will anyone care if the front yard isn’t perfect? Can you avoid making that new and complicated side dish this year? Deliberately choosing to relieve yourself of some of the holiday burden ahead of time can make the rest of your to-do list seem more manageable. Remember that clients are also struggling with the holidays – if there is pushback about workups and treatments, consider reassessing at a later date if that is appropriate. You may avoid a complete refusal of care by providing some breathing room.

2 – Cut back – If you are all stressed up with nowhere to go, the point of the holidays is defeated. If you need to spend a bit less on gifts, do it. The only people who will be angry probably don’t deserve a gift at all. How many food items do we need before family dinners become ridiculous? Pick a few favorites, and if anyone wants something else, ask them to bring it with them. If you are dreading holiday parties, decline invitations until you feel less burdened. If you aren’t going to have fun, don’t go. Multiple office holiday parties can get expensive. If the gift exchange game is voluntary, just sit it out this year.

If you are all stressed up with nowhere to go, the point of the holidays is defeated.

3 – Make it fair – If you cook, don’t clean. If you clean, don’t cook. If you are always the host, ask someone else to volunteer. If you are always asked to travel, offer to host and have everyone come to you. Don’t be the person who volunteers to work every holiday unless doing so makes your life better. If your work policy is to see everyone who calls the day after a holiday, encourage extra staffing to compensate. If not, send some cases to the emergency clinic if needed.

4 – Take a break – Go lie down and take a rest if you need to. Escape to a local park or to the movie theater. If work is slow, ask to go home early if you can afford to do so. Take lunch away from the office if possible. One year, my husband and I took a cruise for Thanksgiving. Although we missed spending time with our families, it made the rest of the holidays more enjoyable because we were well-rested.

5 – Keep it simple – Christmas lights always bring a smile to my face – until I have to put them up. Decorating and cleaning for the holidays can be exhausting. A few years ago, I was in a car accident. The thought of not decorating made me feel worse. Instead of going all out I got help with the outside lights and didn’t put a single ornament on my tree.  I wrapped it in poinsettia garland and white lights. I’ve gotten more compliments on that tree than any other. It’s been that way ever since.  It doesn’t take much to add a festive feeling to your home or office – only do what brings you joy.

6 – Sleep – Being overtired and dealing with guests or clients is a dangerous combination. If you’re not doing something vital to national security, GO TO BED EARLY. If everyone takes a tryptophan-induced nap after dinner, leave the dishes in the sink and go nap yourself. Trust me, they’ll be there when you wake up!

7 – Exercise – One of my favorite holiday traditions is the Ghost Town Bike Ride (this isn’t an actual thing, so don’t Google it). Every Thanksgiving and Christmas morning, my husband and I get up early and ride our bikes. There is NO ONE on the road. The quiet is almost eerie in our busy city. It’s as though the peace and physical exertion provide a Control + Alt + Delete for our stress levels (plus I eat with less guilt). We’ve also done an after-gorging walk in the park that helps our digestion and lets us breathe the fresh air. Even taking a minute to stretch at work or taking a walk around the building can clear your head and make you more efficient.

8 – Eat wisely – Oh, stop rolling your eyes! I know holiday meals are a time when most of us throw our diets to the wind and eat until we can’t breathe. I still eat everything I want, but instead of piling my plate, I take a small spoonful of everything the first time around. I can go back for seconds or thirds if I want, but challenging yourself to eat a giant plate the first round is just asking for trouble. Using a smaller plate can help you not feel deprived. My mom and I tend to split pieces of desserts so we can taste everything without making ourselves sick. I also try to make myself chew everything thoroughly instead of bolting it down. That gives my stomach time to fill up. Remember, you’ll get sick of leftovers before the week is out. Save something for tomorrow! The office break room is a dangerous place to be during the holidays. Put some of the holiday calories out for your clients to enjoy. Wrap a cheer plate for the postal workers, delivery people and reps as they come by.

9 – Let it go – Refuse to take part in work or family arguments or acknowledge slights. It is supremely frustrating to try to fight with someone who won’t respond. If there’s a blowup at work, acknowledge that this is a very stressful time of year and work to defuse rather than discipline. If you are a holiday host, invite guests to step outside for the Airing of the Grievances. If you are a guest, busy yourself with dishes or take a walk if conversation becomes hostile. You are the only person you can control. Release yourself from the responsibility of making everyone happy or keeping the peace.

10 – Remember – Many of us have painful holiday memories. I lost both of my grandmothers within a week of Christmas, so there is always some sadness associated with that holiday. Every year, we toast those who are present and those who aren’t. We tell stories about our loved ones that make us laugh, even if we’ve all heard them a hundred times. If a recent loss is overshadowing the holidays, be kind to yourself and don’t take on so much. Consider honoring lost pets at your office and reaching out to clients you know are suffering. Kindness to others is a win-win.

May your turkey come out juicy and your cheesecake not so much.

I wish you all a peaceful holiday season. May you find more joy than stress. May your turkey come out juicy and your cheesecake not so much. May full mouths prevent ugly words. May the beauty all around you stand out. Above all, I hope you treat yourself with love, kindness and understanding in a world that often lacks all three.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.

Everyone says that your first job out of school is the most important. It “sets the standard for how you practice throughout your career.” When I was in vet school, I knew exactly what my first job would be.

I would work at a multi-doctor practice owned by one of my excellent mentors. I’d always have another set of eyes to look over radiographs, another set of hands to scrub into surgery if needed, another brain to consult with on difficult cases. I wouldn’t have to be alone.

But that’s not how it worked out.

I graduated from vet school with the brand-new knowledge that my husband and I would be relocating for his fantastic new job. After spending the summer “interning” with a mentor, we moved across the country and I started my job search. Unfortunately, full-time openings are hard to come by in this town.

I started off at a clinic an hour and a half from home, where I was the only doctor most days. The thought of all the “firsts” I hadn’t experienced yet was terrifying and I worried that with every sick pet on the schedule, I’d be in over my head. What if “possible UTI” cat is blocked and I can’t unblock him? What if “lethargic” means “comatose?” Will I do a good job explaining things to clients? Will I prioritize the right diagnostics and treatments? Will I be a good advocate for my patients?

I have a love-hate relationship with good ol’ trial by fire. There’s definitely something to be said for figuring things out on your own. But all the hours of sleep you lose and the days you spend preoccupied, wondering whether another doc would have done something different, whether you missed something, whether you are going to get a frantic, angry phone call from a client… It’s rough. It wears you down.

[tweetthis]I have a love-hate relationship with good ol’ trial by fire.[/tweetthis]

The first patient to die under my care was a middle-aged Chihuahua who presented for a rabies vaccine. One second he was walking with his owners, the next he was barrel-rolling on the ground, seizing. Before I could even grab meds, he went limp and stopped breathing. My staff and I jumped into action but we failed. There’s no way to prepare for the self-criticism and feelings of desperation after something like that. Was the seizure somehow my fault? Why couldn’t we bring him back? How can I console his family when I can’t stop the tears streaming down my face?

After awhile, I was transferred to a clinic much closer to home with the promise of mentorship and no single doctor days for months. But after a few weeks, one of my colleagues needed to take an extended leave of absence. Our three doctor practice became two doctors, and yet again I spend most days as the only doctor present. I thought it’d be easier this time around.

Maybe a little bit. But here I am, still battling insecurities every day. I want to feel like I’m doing a good job. I want to feel like I’m good at something. I want to be competent and confident. Am I? Will I ever be? When will I stop feeling inadequate?

[tweetthis]When will I stop feeling inadequate?[/tweetthis]

I don’t know. And in the world of medicine, there will always be a lot that I don’t know. But I’m going to keep trying really hard to do a good job, to be a great doctor, and to be the veterinarian that my patients and clients need.

I just wish it felt easier.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the DrAndyRoark.com editorial team.

Heather Lucas, DVM, is a small animal general practitioner from the Midwest currently living in Southern Arizona. She shares her home with her husband, three dogs, and an assortment of pocket pets. Learning countless new things every day and building relationships with clients top the list of her favorite things about the veterinary profession.

Many of us can fondly recall times we spent playing as children. What stands out most in those memories? We were… happy! And all too often as adults, that feeling of pure happiness is missing.

What can we learn from these memories? Is there a way to extract some of the juices of childhood happiness and find a way to apply it to our busy and hectic adult lives?

Recapturing My Childhood Glee

I recently looked at an old black and white photograph. It was taken in July, 1965, and my brother Mike and I were in our backyard, stationed outside our army surplus tent. I was 7 and he was 4. We had just completed another amazing adventure. These quests invariably involved some form of  “danger” for Mike and an impressive rescue by me.

During our play we always found ourselves so completely caught up in what we were doing that time seemed to stand still and we were scarcely aware of our surroundings. The contentment that radiated from our faces in that old photo was palpable. How nice would it be to be happy like that a little more often?

[tweetthis]Harness the positive psychology skills that come naturally to kids.[/tweetthis]

Little did Mike and I realize the happiness we experienced was in large part because we were using the positive psychology skills, like having gratitude, that come naturally to most kids. Psychologists have identified many of these skills and proven that they do, indeed, increase happiness and positivity.

Mike and I were eternally gratefully for the ragged old army surplus tent a neighbor had given us as a gift – we knew our parents could not have afforded it. It served as our headquarters and starting point for a great number of those aforementioned adventures.

We also had a cat, Fluffy the Black Jaguar, who figured prominently in most of our adventures. She purred constantly and was dragged around without clawing us — a very special creature indeed. How lucky we were to have her as our pet rather than some of the less-than-friendly felines we have all treated over the years!

Happily, even as adults, we can still increase our happiness by practicing gratitude more regularly. You just need a few tips from the world of psychology on how to develop the skill.

How to Increase Your Gratitude

How can we cultivate more gratitude in our current lives? Psychologists have studied gratitude and learned that it is the most potent and rapid driver of happiness. There are a number of effective strategies to create more gratitude, but these four are the most effective.

•  The gratitude journal is very powerful. Simply write down three things for which you are thankful each night in a journal on your nightstand for 30 days and see what new goodness might creep into your life. Research shows that doing this will improve your happiness for at least three months. You might, like me, use it for months on end and have it serve not only as a gratitude journal but as a log of good events or activities you have experienced during that day.

• Even more powerful, a gratitude visit involves writing a 300-word letter of gratitude to someone who is still alive and has had a strong positive influence on you. This may be a teacher, coach, minister, or family member. Make an appointment with them for the purpose of reading this heartfelt letter to them. It’s guaranteed to increase happiness for five months and possibly elicit a few tears of joy.

• Express gratitude to people. Do it more often than you currently do; do it as often as you can. Say thank you to everybody, looking them in the eye and meaning it. You can say thank you to every clerk, employee, co-worker and person who holds an elevator. The key is to mean it; to be sincere. This can be reinforced with a respectful look in the eye, a nod of the head or maybe even a little smile. You may be astonished at what happens when you actually give meaningful thanks more often.

• Consider silently expressing thanks for things, like your food, shelter, car, or clothing, and take fewer things for granted. You would be in a tough place without the basics and amenities of life!

Gratitude is a powerful driver of happiness. Try some of these evidence-based gratitude strategies, or create some of your own. Remember this: We are all in this world together and it is a fundamental human desire to be happy. Every effort we make to increase our happiness (or the happiness of others) makes the world a better place, and gratitude strategies are one more way we can do just that.

[tweetthis]Gratitude is a powerful driver of happiness.[/tweetthis]

Dr. Steve Noonan has been a veterinarian for 32 years, a practice owner for 25 years and a human for 57 years. As a management consultant for many years, he has seen that stress is a major contributor to unhappiness in our profession which undermines our ability to deliver veterinary medicine effectively for our patients and clients. A keen student of psychology and mindfulness, and a certified life coach, Dr Noonan is passionate about and has made it his mission to share and teach the evidence–based Science of Happiness to veterinary audiences.