DrAndyRoark.com

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Perspective

Shouting Into The Void: How To Measure Your Impact

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Every week I write a letter like this. I talk to clients in the exam room, publish two podcasts, and post social media content. I teach multiple classes on communication, leadership, and management in Uncharted, and sometimes I travel and speak at conferences. All that to say… I put a lot of heart and ideas out into the world.

I put myself out there because I want to help, I love our profession, and I care deeply about my fellow veterinary professionals who are making the world a better place. I believe that each of us can lift others up, and that there’s not much that’s more important than that.

But how do you know if what you are putting out into the world is being received by others?

The one thing that correlates with your impact

To be honest, it’s hard to gauge if I am actually making an impact. Even when I can see how many people are reading a post on social media or listening to an episode of The Cone of Shame podcast, it’s hard to see. Afterall, there are terrible things on social media that have gotten much higher engagement than anything I have ever done, so the number of people you “reach” has little to do with the amount of good you do in the world. 

I often feel like I’m just shouting into the void.

However, there is one thing I’ve found that does correlate with the impact you have on other people. Do you know what it is? Hearing from someone that you’ve done or said something that has resonated with them.

Last week at the VMX conference in Orlando, a few people came up to me and spoke with phrasing that always gets my attention… “Andy, you wrote/said/did a very specific thing, and it really helped me.” 

The pieces they mentioned were all rather obscure, none of which I considered to be my best work. They were emails, stories I told on a podcast when I didn’t know what question to ask my guest, or videos I shot on my phone when I just wanted to send out an encouraging word. Still, they had an impact and these people gave me the gift of letting me know.

You’re not shouting into the void

I have looked at a million metrics around communication in the digital world. I’ve studied likes, reach, upvotes, retweets, plays, downloads, opens, and click-throughs. And I’m here to tell you, if you care about making a difference, I don’t think any of those metrics should be your primary measures of success. Instead, focus on the number of people who come and tell you that you did a specific thing that meant a lot to them. 

Sometimes we all feel like we are shouting into the void. Sometimes we all feel like we are pouring our compassion into an endless ocean. The truth is, if you are putting out love, care, and support into the world, you are NEVER shouting into the void. You are making an impact, even though you only hear about it rarely.

Final thought

Today, I want you to think about the people who have told you “when you did this, it meant so much to me.” I want you to recognize that for every person who has said that to you, there are thousands of people who have felt that way but never verbalized it. For every pet owner who has taken the time to write a note to you or your team, there are probably a thousand others who have felt that gratitude but did not pick up a pen.

I want you to recognize this pattern of speech from people you have touched, because that phrasing is the greatest signal I’ve found that you are having a real impact. And when you hear it, I want you to listen like you’ve never listened before. I want you to absorb it into your bones so that it permeates you. I want it to fuel a thousand more acts of kindness… and out of those thousand acts of kindness, I suspect one more person will come up to you and say “when you did this thing for me, it really meant the world.”

The Right Way To Introduce Yourself

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How you introduce yourself matters. An introduction helps tell people a bit about yourself, your personality, and can help you create a positive impression. Are you putting your best foot forward with your introduction?

Over the years, I’ve worked with and introduced dozens of veterinary speakers at conferences and browsed hundreds of veterinary clinic websites. In both arenas, I see veterinary professionals making the same mistake over and over again. What is it? They do a pretty bad job of introducing themselves.

Let’s explore where introductions are going wrong, and how you can avoid these pitfalls.

Where introductions go wrong

Veterinary medicine is a relationship business. Whether you are talking to colleagues from a stage or attracting pet owners with your digital presence, your success may not lie where you think it does. Making a positive impression does not depend on people thinking you are smarter, more learned, or less flawed than they are. Your success depends on whether or not your audience relates to you.

I think it’s some (understandable) level of insecurity that drives website or speaker bios, or even social media profiles, written in a way that tries to convince everyone that the author is smart. The fear that someone will look at you and think “What qualifies this person to give me advice?” can cause you to overcompensate. So you introduce yourself with a laundry list of factoids about the schools you went to, certifications you acquired, and even academic honors you achieved. You are not alone.

Holding up a truncated curriculum vitae as a shield, is one of the most common introduction pitfalls I have seen. It’s a way to protect yourself from questions about your competence while also hiding any human vulnerabilities out of sight.

After all, no one can decide they don’t like you if all they know about you is where you went to high school, college, and veterinary school… right?

How to make a more impactful impression

I understand the classic “shield yourself by your accomplishments” approach when shaping a public persona. I really do. The truth, however, is that people don’t care about your education beyond the point of knowing you are qualified to do the service they are seeking. 

The fact that you are a veterinarian or that you have been asked to present gives you just about all the academic credibility you need. The people looking at you are honestly just looking for signs that you are a living, breathing, human being who they can relate to.

When you introduce yourself to a group (whether live or online) make sure you answer two questions:

  1. What qualifies you to help these people? 
  2. Who are you as a person?

That’s it. Those are the only two questions that matter. Answer the first as clearly and concisely as possible. Answer the second not with the hope of making everyone like you, but instead with the hope of attracting people who will be drawn irresistibly to your passions, experiences, style, and perspective (like a bug-zapper, but for good!).

Final Thought

I see so many amazing people who insist on defining themselves to the world by their academic achievements. The truth is, the people you want to serve don’t care about academics beyond the base requirements. They care about learning from someone relatable. They want to deal with someone who will be happy to see them, and who won’t judge them. 

You don’t have to be perfect. People don’t trust those who try to present themselves as perfect. You just have to be real and comfortable telling people who you are so they can know you. That’s how relationship builders introduce themselves.

Resolve To Be Bored More Often

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What’s your #1 resolution for the new year? Mine is to be bored more often.

It recently dawned on me that I live my life in a state of perpetual distraction. If I’m not actively engaged with something, I listen to podcasts or audiobooks on my headphones or scroll on my phone in search of something interesting and engaging.

So it made me think, what do we miss when we fill our lives with distractions too often?

The downside of the distraction state

Podcasts, audiobooks, and articles can generally be considered “mental health food.” That’s how I’ve always justified immediately picking up my phone and being “plugged in” whenever I do the dishes, walk the dog, or wait for my daughter to finish dance class.

The downside is that distraction like this has two costs. 

The first is the energy cost. The energy cost is the steady mental drain that comes from processing information; even information we are excited about. Our brain only has so much processing power in a day. We should be at least a little mindful about how we spend it.

The second cost is the opportunity cost. This is the cost of not doing things because we are too distracted to recognize the opportunity.

Waking up to my distraction state

Late last year, I got tapped for jury duty. First thing in the morning, the bailiff took all of our phones away and didn’t give them back until we went home at the end of the day. I found myself, along with a dozen other jurors, sitting around a table day-after-day with nothing to do. Unable to grab my phone to read an online newspaper, I was bored. The situation pushed me to fill my time by getting to know the people I was with. 

I talked to the other jurors about the case, of course, and I also talked to them during the breaks. We talked about the case, and during breaks, we shared stories about our hobbies and families. Picture a strange version of that 80s movie The Breakfast Club. We all came from very different places, but we found that we had a lot in common and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. 

I couldn’t help but reflect on how that discovery happens rarely in our modern, plugged-in world. And my resolution to unplug and be more bored more often was born.

Unplugging to engage more in the moment

Since taking up this resolution, instead of listening to, reading or watching media, the most wonderful things have happened. Instead of checking my email, I’ve found myself laughing with my technicians. Rather than tuning into another podcast or watching Netflix, I spend time talking with my wife and playing board games with my kids. And I am getting mental rest breaks during quiet walks with my dog… at least until the neighbors see me without my headphones and come out to say hello.

The point here is not that I am now distracting myself in different ways than before (because I totally recognize this. I hate being bored). The point is that by skipping the easiest, flashiest, most common solutions to boredom, I’m falling back to more rich, restful, and fulfilling ways of occupying my free time.

If you’re missing a resolution for 2023, maybe it’s not too late. Maybe you can be bored more often. Maybe if you’re bored and I’m bored, we’ll bump into each other and actually talk about it. Wouldn’t that be lovely?

You Can Choose To Be Happy…Or Not

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For years, I would roll into the holiday season with joint goals of keeping up my normal work schedule and also celebrating the season doing the little rituals that I love. Invariably, I would find myself dealing with issues, events and people I had not factored into my plans.

Here’s the story of how I learned that you can either choose to be happy, or not.

Shedding the frustrations of holiday chaos

The holiday season arrives. Suddenly, there are elementary school events to attend, work parties for my wife where I don’t know anyone, and holiday shopping crowds that need to be battled in order to meet gifting obligations. My calendar begins to feel more chaotic than ever. And I become frustrated. 

I grit my teeth at the check out lines, argue with my wife about what school pageants really need to be witnessed in person, and drag my feet to get ready for holiday gatherings that I know I’m going to end up attending anyway. When it’s all over, everyone is irritated with me and I still end up attending the pageants and parties and fulfilling all the obligations.

Then, one day, it occurs to me just how foolish this approach is. 

So I sit down and write a note on my calendar for December 1st of the following year. It reads, “You are going to attend events and deal with problems this month. You are going to be invited to things you don’t know about and you will be expected to attend. You are going to have to battle crowds and wait in lines. Plan on it happening, make time for it and decide to be happy.”

The next year is the best holiday season of my adult life.

Skip the rage, choose to overcome

In life you can choose to rage against a challenge and then overcome it or to skip the rage and simply overcome it. Holidays or not, this is something I’m trying hard to remember.

You’re going to have to talk to the upset pet owner, sort out the team drama, figure out the staff schedule, run the inventory audit, do your taxes, make a dish for the potluck, conduct performance evaluations, and do all the other things you might want to avoid. Exhausted already? Me too.

You can decide to accept these things are going to happen, make room for them in your day, and try to find the fun in it…or not. Either way, you’re still going to do them.

Final thought

Just for today, try not being frustrated. Try to recognize what is going to be required of you and do it with a smile on your face. See what happens. See if your day doesn’t feel brighter. I bet it will.

“Remember When?” The Gift of Reflection

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The holiday season can fill us with warmth. And I’m not just referring to the warmth of the chili I enjoyed this week at a neighborhood holiday chili party. The holidays are a time to celebrate with friends and family. It’s also a time of reflection… a very meaningful gift we can each give ourselves.

Meaningful Moments At The Neighborhood Holiday Party

Neighborhood holiday gatherings always remind me that I’m not living on an island. It turns out that the people around me know who I am. They enjoy seeing me walk my goofy dog, Skipper, past their houses every morning. 

My neighbors feel safe(r) knowing there is a veterinarian in their neighborhood just in case anything were to happen to their furry family members. Though, in reality, I’ve lived in this neighborhood for almost 10 years now, and have only had one neighbor swing by with a sick pet. I have however given a number of consultations while holding a leash and a plastic bag full of poo. Still, the knowledge that I’m here makes them happy, and that makes me happy on a deep level.

One of my favorite parts of any neighborhood get-together is the “remember when” portion of the event. At the recent holiday chili party, “remember when” stories were told about long-grown children, favorite pets, lost hearing aids, and a life-size cutout of former president Ronald Regan. I laughed until my sides hurt, and then I felt like I had participated in something meaningful.

The Importance Of “Remember When”

“Remembering when” is one of the most important parts of the holiday season. Taking the time to reflect on the journey that is our lives gives us a perspective that we wouldn’t otherwise get. As humans, we seem to be hard-wired to worry about the future and toil in the present. But not to look back and appreciate what we have seen, done, and learned. That’s a real shame.

Looking back is actually a key way in which we can move forward.

Reflection allows us to hold the trophy for our successes, acknowledge our strengths, turn experiences into understanding, and find areas for growth.

Take The Time To Reflect

This holiday season, we should all take a few minutes to reflect on the year – and life in general. Think about all the accomplishments, what has brought joy, and the obstacles we’ve overcome. It’s a gift we can give ourselves, but can easily give to others.

Try it at the clinic with the “remember when” game. Simply start by going first and watch people start to smile and draw together. That’s what the holidays are all about.

Birthday Reflections: Our Only Constant Is Change

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My friend was recently mortified when she took her young son to see his grandparents for Thanksgiving. On arrival, my friend released her little boy from his carseat, allowing him to sprint to his grandmother’s waiting arms. As he reached her, the boy said excitedly, “Grandmother! You’ve gotten older!”

The little boy meant this as the highest compliment because nothing makes him happier than when people tell him he looks older. I asked my friend how her mother received the compliment and she said “Exactly as it was intended! She showed him how the skin under her arms jiggles now when she flaps her arms.”

Another Birthday, Another Lesson-Learned

Getting older is not for the faint of heart. Last week I turned 46 and it dawned on me that 50 is hurtling toward me. My right foot now hurts when I run. I have to peek out of the bottom of my glasses to look at my cell phone. And last week I even secretly took a photo of a medicine bottle at the clinic just so I could zoom in and read part of the label. 

But you know what? I’m pretty happy. 

Life got a lot easier for me when I recognized that nothing in this world is constant except change. My friends, my kids, my career, my body… they’re all in a state of flux, and they always will be.

Accept Change And Find Happiness

What if we could skip the pain that comes with fighting against the inconvenience of change? Does that open us up to find joy in the here and now? As I think more about it, I feel that the key to smiling and finding happiness as time passes is to have realistic expectations. 

Expectations that things won’t always be what they once were or how we imagined them. Easier said than done. But not impossible. Setting goals that give us space to embrace change and where we are in life can be helpful.

My goal for when I turn 50 is to truly be at home in the skin of a 50 year-old person. It’s to enjoy the perks of experience, without raging against loss of physical youth. It’s to be fully engaged with my friends and family as they are, and not how they were 10 or 20 or 30 years ago. It’s to pick up new hobbies and interests, and not feel guilty as I put down some of those I enjoyed in the past.

As I enter my 46th trip around the sun, I hope to enjoy the ride as it is. Not as what it once was or how I have imagined it. Because in the end, time will march on and our only options are to find happiness in what comes our way or to not.